We Belong Together
by kitaleigh
Summary: Puck can't keep his mind off her. She's trying to stay focused on getting out of this cow town. What will happen when feelings get in the way? This is story is A/U.
1. The Plan

**Author's note: So as you already assumed, I don't own Glee or any of it's characters. However, I do own all of the spelling and grammar errors. This story will contain many adult themes and sexual situations so if you're uncomfortable with that then please don't read. (i.e. this is my first time writing heavy smut so let me know what you think if your okay with it). Therefore this story is rated M, also for Puck's consistent use of the F-word. Babygate never happen. Happy reading and please review! **

**Noah's P.O.V**

"_Mmm yes Noah right there" she moaned while licking the shell of my ear._

"_You like that baby?" I asked while reaching down to tease her clit._

"_Yes!" she screamed._

"_Oh hell yeah baby"..._

"Noah Levi Puckerman wake up this minute!" My mother Mariam screamed at me.

"Sarah go wake up your brother please" she said tiredly.

"Kay" she said as she skipped down the hall.

"Wake up Noah your gonna be late for school!" she said banging on my door.

"Alright shorty, I'm up" I answered rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

I jumped out of bed and grabbed my towel to cover my hard-on and headed into the bathroom. I guess my dreams about Rach would have to wait until later. Yea right I laughed out loud, like that would ever happen. I haven't been able to get Rachel Berry out of my head for the past 3 years. Only she could make me come in my pants like some kinda 13 year old boy. I mean come on, I'm the Puckerone. Have you seen my guns? I am anything but some little pansy ass kid...except when it came to her. Every time I open my mouth to speak to her, I end up making some asshole move and insult her or dump a slushy on her. It's because any time I'm around her my brain turns to mush, my heart races, and my palms sweat. That only comes from hearing her voice. When I see her, it's a whole different story.

You see, Rach has this bad habit of wearing the smallest skirts possible. I'm talking like my Cheerios skirt shrunk small. If anything was going to kill me it was going to be those goddamn skirts. They show off her amazing legs, which seem to go on for miles, even though she's a fucking midget. That's another thing I love about her, she's so small and perfect. I mean how fucking awesome would it be to spoon with her? Her ass would be perfectly pressed against me. See people would think I'm not the "cuddling" type of guy, but the truth is I love it, it's just too uncomfortable if your not in the right position or you just don't fit right together. But me and Rach, we would fit together like Jack and his buddy, Daniel. Anyway when I see Rach in those goddamn skirts I can't control myself. I feel like I need to hump the next moving thing or I'll burst.

Now you may be thinking that I'm just some kind of horny teenage boy with a crush. Well your wrong. My "crush" on Rach is so much more. I don't just have a physical attraction towards her and I don't just see her as just another booty call. I want to freaking date her, and the Puckzila does not date.

I want to be the one to buy her flowers and hold her hand in the halls. I want to take her out on romantic dates and be rewarded with one of her million dollar smiles and not one of those fake show face ones. I'm talking about the ones the make her eyes light up and brings that cute as fuck pink blush to her cheeks, you know the one that goes all the way down to her boobs.

Okay, maybe your right I do sound like some lovesick boy, but I can't help it. She's everything I need. She talks too much and I don't talk enough. She's all about feelings and shit and I'm no good with them. She can read people and I just don't give a fuck. It's like we're polar opposites, but somehow we could fit together. There's only one problem.

Ever since Rach has come to McKinley she seems to have changed. She's not the same hot Jew that I used to stare at in Temple. Don't get me wrong, she's still smoking. It like she's become this over annoying self-centered brat that gets slushied every freaking day. It's like she's got some kind of hidden agenda or something. She's not the same girl who would help me glue those wiggly eyeballs on after school at the JCC during arts and crafts time. She's definitely not the same girl who would cry of someone pulled on her pigtails. I mean come on, the girl has pornographic pictures of herself drawn on the bathroom walls, she's the cheerios number one target, and she doesn't even bitch about it. I mean how badass is that? I've come to face the facts that Rachel Berry has indeed changed her ways. She's still all broadway and shit, but she's different. She's not the same Rach I grew up with and that is the problem. I can't just go and try and woo her without knowing that she wouldn't freak the fuck out.

It's not because I'm scared to be with her because I'm not. The Puckzilla can handle ANYTHING that's thrown his way. I'm a total stud and dating Rachel Berry wouldn't even take an ounce of my badassness away.

I stepped into my ice cold shower, yes I've been taking lots of them since those dreams about Rach won't go away, and began to think of ways that I could get with Rach. For one, I would have to give up my cougars and Cheerios and get familiar with my right hand cause I doubt Rach is giving it up any time soon. Secondly, I had to give her a reason to actually like me. And thirdly, well, I kinda needed her to trust me and that would take some serious work.

As I made my way down the hall to the nurses's office to skip my first period, after I had gotten dressed and made it in two minutes before the late bell, I heard the voice of an angel. As I peeped in the door I saw the most amazing butt in the world. The butt was followed by a pair of amazing tan legs and wait, I know those legs. How could I not, they've been in my dreams, up around my shoulders of course. It was then that I realized that this angel's voice belonged to none other than Rachel Berry. She was singing some song from a musical, Les Mis or some shit. Whatever the fuck it was, it was fucking epic. I looked at the sign up sheet outside the door, it read: **New Directions-Glee Club**. It was like god had sent me a message. The last message he had sent was the one where Rach climbed up into my bedroom in some white lingerie looking like she wanted me to fuck her. I knew it was from God because her star of David necklace was shining bright as hell and woke me up. Anyway I finally knew what I was gonna do to get Rach's attention.

"Hey, Mr. Shue can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked my spanish teacher and the coach of glee club.

"Uh, sure Puck. What's up?" he asked. I always skipped his class, so this must've been awkward for him.

"What's the deal with glee club?" I asked.

"What do you mean".

"Like, I dunno what exactly is it?" I asked rubbing the back of my neck.

"Oh!" he exclaimed. "It's a music club. We dance and sing covers of whatever songs you guys pick and then we will perform them for the school and at competitions." he said smiling.

"That sounds gay as fuck". What I meant to say was no wonder Rach is auditioning, this is her favorite type of shit. "I mean, singing is cool and stuff, but I don't do musicals and shit".

"You sing?" he asked raising his eyebrows.

"Yup" I said popping the p. "I play guitar too. Chicks totally dig a music man, ya know?".

"That's great Puck! Hey I'm starting this group with coach Tanaka called Acafellas, it's just like glee but no girls and no musicals. Whadya say to joining that group?".

"Sounds badass Mr. Shue" I said grinning. "Count me in".

"Pleasure doing business with you Puck" he said as he shook my hand.

That was how I was gonna get Rach to like me. I was gonna turn on that Puckerman charm and sing to her until her panties were wet and she couldn't resist me. This had to be the best idea I have ever had.


	2. No one will get in my Way

**Author Note: So I just want to apologize for the lack of update. I've been really busy lately with my show, Sweet Charity and I just finished my first story called "Let this be my story" and I'm halfway done with my other one called "Anything for her" which you all should definitely read and review ;). Anyway, I just want to thank those of you that did review/subscribe in the last chapter, I hope to get more as the story progresses so please let me know what you think! I DON'T OWN GLEE! but happy reading anyway :D (Flashback is in italics)**

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><p><strong>Noah P.O.V<strong>

Today was the big day, my first show with the Acafellas. I was sitting backstage trying to keep my cool while still managing to keep up my badass image, I mean anyone would be nervous when they're trying to impress the woman of their dreams right?

"You alright Puckerman?" Coach Tanaka questioned.

"Yea, I'm cool. I didn't expect this many people to show up" I said shrugging. It was true, I had honestly expected a light crowd, but Shue kept true to his word when he said it was going to be big.

"You sure, you look like you're practically shitting your pants" he smirked.

"Hell yea I'm sure. I'm not scared, I'm trying to impress someone and I don't want them thinking I'm some gay ass pansy for going out and singing with you two idiots" I snapped. I really didn't give a fuck about all the people out there, it just gave me more of a chance to show off my skills. The only person I cared about was Rachel.

I peeked out the curtain to see if I could spot her. She promised she would be here, so where the hell was she?

_I made my way down the hall with a small grape slushy in my hands blocking out everything and everyone as I searched for my target._

_"Hey Rach" I said smoothly._

_"Ah!" she gasped as she covered her face with her hands._

_"You okay?" I asked when I realized she wasn't moving._

_"Just do it" she mumbled under her hands. She really did have the cutest fucking hands._

_"Uh..this is for you" I said holding the drink out for her. "I know grape's your favorite cause we used to go to the 7-eleven all the time and I'd get cherry and you'd get grape" I said smirking, I was such a stud._

_"Is that why you always toss a purple one at me?" she snapped._

_Fuck I really wasn't expecting that._

_"No, I just..shit I'm sorry..look I wanted to ask you something" I said uneasily. _

_This was usually the point where I pulled a stunt and tossed it on her or made a rude comment to distract her while I collected my nerves or adjusted my dick, depending on how short her skirt was that day. I couldn't even talk to her without getting those damn butterflies in my stomach, and that just wasn't badass._

_"And what would that be Noah?" she asked as she took the slushy from my hands._

_"I'm having concert with my group called Acafellas and I wanted to know if you'd come" I said, trying desperately not to stare at her lips as she sucked the drink through the straw. Now was not the time to deal with a hard-on._

_"Acafellas, like the group that Mr. Shuester is in?" she asked._

_"Yea, you heard about us?" I asked, feeling a burst of pride._

_"Yes, you're the reason that Mr. Shue has abandoned the glee club and left us to hire a choreographer who was no help at all" she said angrily._

_So much for pride. _

_"Oh my bad I didn't know all that, I just thought it's be cool if you came that's all" I said, trying not to sound defeated._

_"And why would you want me there?" she asked._

_"Because you're my friend and I know you're into music even if it's not broadway, so I thought you might like to come and expand your horizons or some shit" I said, rubbing my hand through my 'hawk._

_"Noah you and I aren't friends" she said sternly. "Not anymore" she whispered so low I barely heard it._

_"Sure we are" I said, knowing deep down that I treated her like shit and our friendship had ended on the first day of school, when I dumped a slushy on her._

_"No we're not and I would appreciate it if you stayed away from me" she snapped as she turned to walk away._

_"Whoa whoa whoa" I said, grabbing her arm to stop her. "Look, I know we've…had our differences, but I know you like this kind of stuff so I was hoping you'd come"_

_"Noah" she sighed. Uh oh, this couldn't be good. "I really appreciate your invitation, but unfortunately I'm going to decline" she said._

_"Why?" I asked. I couldn't believe she was turning me down, no one ever turned me down._

_"I have other obligations that I've already committed to" she said._

_"Look Berry, no offense but if you have vocal lessons or dance or something I'm sure you can miss one class to have a little fun. We're singing some really awesome stuff and I want to have someone as experienced as you there to critique me" I smiled._

_"Noah I'm sorry but I simply can't go, I've got a a very busy schedule right now and I don't even have a ride there" she sighed._

_"I'll pick you up, just please come Rach. I know you don't believe me, but I really want you there and I want us to start over and be friends again" I said, tilting her chin up so I can look into her eyes._

_I wasn't sure what it was, but something didn't look right. Her eyes weren't as shiny as they normally were and she wasn't holding her head up high like she normally did. What was going on with her?_

_"Why now Noah? It's been almost an entire year and now you've decided on becoming friends again" she said._

_"I miss you" I said, stroking her cheek softly. God her skin felt like silk._

_"I'm sorry, I can't do this" she said, pulling away._

_"Do what? All I'm asking is for you to come to my damn concert" I said, getting mad. _

_"Fine, I'll come but don't expect anything more" she said, walking down the hall._

_I continued to stare after her in awe. Never ever did a girl turn down the Puckster. I knew Rach wasn't just any old girl and I knew it'd take a while for her to trust me, but fuck I didn't know she'd be this difficult!_

_As she walked away, I stared at her ass swaying back and forth in that tiny skirt and I remembered why I was doing this. I liked her for who she was and what she looked like. I had never had feelings someone this strong nor had I ever liked someone both for their personality and their looks. My Ma always told me that beauty was within, but I had no idea what that meant until Rachel._

As I continued scanning the crowd, my eyes locked on a pair of gorgeous brown ones. She was here and sitting two rows in front of Ma and Sarah. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face when I saw her sitting there. She looked gorgeous in that red coat and she looked either really excited or extremely nervous.

"You ready for this?" Shue asked as he slapped my back.

"Hell yea, I'm always ready to charm the ladies" I smirked.

"Let's do this" he said.

After we had performed out last song, we headed backstage to bask in our glory.

"That was kick ass!" I yelled.

Our performance was fucking EPIC. We had the entire crowd on their feet and everyone was jamming to our versions of badass songs.

I quickly changed my clothes and went out to the reception area to find Rachel when I ran into a couple of cougars I had been with over the summer. I honestly had no interest in them anymore, so I dismissed myself and continued on my mission.

"Noah honey you were fantastic!" my mother Mariam shrieked as she threw her arms around me.

"Jeez Ma, I can't breathe" I gasped.

"Sarah wasn't you're brother incredible up there? Who knew my little boy was so talented?" she gasped.

"Yea thanks Ma, look I'll meet you at home okay" I said, heading off in the direction of the short brunette in the corner.

"I hate to interrupt, but I'd like to steal this pretty lady away from you" I said to the woman talking to Rachel.

"Hello Noah" she said, once we found some privacy in the hallway.

"Hey" I said cooly even though my insides were turning to mush. All it took was one of her smiles and I was a puddle of goo. "So, did I meet the standards for the ever so talented Rachel Berry?" I asked.

"You were amazing up there Noah, I had no idea you were that good. Have you ever thought about pursuing music as a career" she asked brightly.

"Wow thanks, that means a lot coming from you" I said.

"I mean it Noah, you could really make something of yourself if you decided to study music performance or something in that field".

"I've thought about it, but I don't think I have the grades for college or anything. Even if I did, I need something that'll guarantee me a job. I've gotta look after Ma and Sarah and being a music major ain't gonna cut it" I said.

"It's a shame you feel that way Noah, you're very gifted" she said kindly.

"Thanks" I smiled. "So you ready to go?" I asked.

"Go where?" she said, looking around.

"Home, where else?" I asked.

"Oh, Noah you don't have to take me home I'll be fine" she said.

"How'd you get here, I thought you didn't have a ride?" I asked.

"One of my dads drove me, I asked him to come home from work early and drop me off" she said convincingly.

"Okay, well then let's get you home" I said, pulling her out the door.

"Noah, don't worry about it, I can take the bus or walk it's not that far" she insisted.

"Hell no, there's no way you're getting on a bus this late at night, let alone walking anywhere" I said. Was she crazy? It's a winter night in Lima, it's dark and freezing outside.

"Noah, I assure you that I'll be fine. I'm quite capable of getting myself home on my own" she said, pulling away.

"Nope, not gonna happen babe" I said, tossing her over my shoulder.

"Noah, put me down!" she shrieked.

"M'kay" I said, placing her down in the front seat of my truck.

"Fine, I'll let you drive me home" she huffed.

"Hate to break it to you, but you didn't have a choice" I laughed.

On the way, we chatted about school and music and we even sang along to a few songs on the radio. I thought back to the time when we would just lie on her bed and talk for hours and never get bored. We would make up games when we would get tired of being around our parents and try to cook different things from my kitchen when we it rained outside. The times I spent with Rachel were always fun, and this was no exception.

Before I knew it I was pulling into her driveway and opening the door for her.

"Where's your dads?" I asked.

"They're inside why do you ask?" she said nervously.

"Cause their cars aren't in the driveway" I said, looking around. Was it me or was something different around here?

"Oh, they must still be out on their date then, you remember how they always used to go out on Friday nights" she rambled.

"Yea, but it's Thursday" I said, worriedly.

"Oh, I just remembered the new exhibit at the museum they went to see. They've must've grabbed dinner or something afterwords" she said quickly.

"Uh..okay. Do you want me to wait with you?" I asked, hoping she'd say yes.

"Oh Noah that isn't necessary, I'm sure you need to get home and get ready for school tomorrow" she said.

"Nah, I'm good" I smiled.

"Noah I really appreciate your offer, but I find it highly appropriate for a boy to be in my house with me when my dads aren't home" she said sternly.

"Relax Rach, it's me, besides it's not like I haven't been caught in your room before" I smirked.

"Yes, but that was before we were even thinking about any type of sexual situations" she said.

"Who said anything about sex?" I said raising my eyebrow and flexing my guns, the ladies loved my guns.

"Look Noah, I'm grateful for your invitation tonight, I had a lot of fun. Now I need to get to bed or else I will not get the eight hours of sleep I need in order to have a successful day in school tomorrow" she said.

"Alright, thanks for coming Rach, it really meant a lot to me" I said, wrapping my arms around her.

"You are very welcome Noah" she said, kissing my cheek.

Hell yea, my plan was working out perfectly. Rachel Berry was gonna be my girl in no time.

**Rachel P.O.V**

I couldn't believe I had just kissed Noah Puckerman. I had worked so hard to keep my feelings out of the way and here I was throwing myself at him. It wasn't like I couldn't help it because I could. Whatever feelings I had for Noah had gone out the door the day he decided to toss a purple frozen drink in my face and call me a hurtful name. And yet I couldn't help that building feeling when her picked me up, or when we talked and sang in his car, or when he hugged me. I loved the feel of his strong arms wrapped around me, it made me feel safe and that was a feeling I was craving more than anything.

I climbed the stairs to my empty house, knowing that it would remain that way. The only other thing there was my little black dog, Poppy who was passed out on my bed.

If there was one thing I hated doing, it was lying. I hated pretending that I was strong and confident when I was really falling apart. I hated telling people that I was busy with dance and vocal lessons, when I really working my ass off to pay the bills. I hated being alone all the time and knowing that everyone hated me. I hated that I had no one who loved me and that the only person I can rely on is myself.

I was disgusted with myself for getting so far into to this lie I had created to protect them. If anyone knew they had abandoned me at 14 years old, I'd be screwed. I'm no idiot, I know that I can't live alone at 15 in a house listed under my dads name when I had no idea where they were. I knew that they would take me away from the only thing I have left and I'd have to live in some group home until I was eighteen.

The only way I'd get out of this cow town was if I kept up my lie. I didn't need anyone in my life to screw that up, by finding out the truth. I needed to work the hours before and after school to keep the house paid off and food on the table. I needed to keep my grades at the top so I'd get a scholarship to Juilliard. I needed to focus on me and only me and that meant keeping everyone else out. It wasn't really that hard when people did't like me anyway, but there was someone who tried to work their way in. Take Noah for example. I knew when he approached me in school today that nothing good would happen.

We had been best friends at one point. That was when I was happy, when I had a family, and when I was loved.

I didn't believe in love anymore, it had only led me to heartbreak, despair, and disappointment.

I had loved my dads and they left me behind with absolutely nothing, but an empty house.

I loved Noah Puckerman, but he had made it his goal to treat me like shit.

I used to believe in god. Every night I would pray for my dads to come home and hold me in their arms and tell me I was their angel. Every night I prayed that Noah would come over and tell me he loved me back. When neither happened I came to a conclusion that either god didn't exist or that he hated me.

It seemed like no matter how hard I prayed, practiced, and studied nothing ever changed. I strived to be perfect in every way, hoping that maybe they would come back.

You must be wondering how it happened right? It all started one day when my daddy lost his job. He came home upset and my dad and I tried to comfort him. They told him he had taken off too many days that year. Of course he tried to reason and explain that he had a child to look after, but this did no good and he ended up blaming me for it. Things from there escalated between me and daddy. He would get upset when I asked him to come to a dance show, or when dad would take me to a vocal lesson. Dad didn't want to loose daddy, he would do anything to please him.

Eventually the lessons stopped and my dad had lost interest in me as well. They had stopped driving me to school. They stopped packing my lunch and making me breakfast. There were no more take-out dinners, and no more family karaoke nights. They began to ignore me and it seemed as though I didn't exist in their world anymore. The only thing I had left in my life was Noah, even though I never told him what was going on at home. Every time we wanted to hang out we went to the park or to his house, anywhere away from dad and daddy. Noah had been acting strange around me, his dad had left and he wasn't taking it well. Next thing I know, I'm waking up to an empty house. I got up to see where my parents were and to my surprise they were gone. Their bedroom was completely empty and the office had been cleared out. They had left me all alone with nothing.

I didn't cry about it, why should I? It wasn't like they had been around anyway. They didn't love me anymore. I honestly wasn't even that shocked, just a little aggravated that they didn't give me an advanced notice, a note would've been nice. The only thing I felt was fear. I hated being alone. I couldn't rely on Noah anymore, he would just push me away. He was starting high school and I still had a year to go. I decided it would be best to cut off whatever ties we had before I got my heartbroken. I knew it was bound to happen anyway, he had been keeping a distance between us and I had learned from my dads that separation resulted in nothing but pain.

When I went to knock on his door, I found myself looking into his gorgeous green eyes and I couldn't do it. I needed to hold onto whatever we had left. What else did I have to live for?

I should have went with my first instinct and protected myself because on the first day of my freshman year, Noah Puckerman broke my heart and destroyed whatever feelings I had left for anything and anyone.

It didn't matter anymore, nothing did. The only thing I wanted was a fresh start and nothing was going to get in the way of that. I had shut everyone out of my life and I blanked out any feelings. I put on a show everyday and strolled the halls with confidence that I know didn't exist. I was an actress, the best damn actress that ever lived.

When he asked me to come to his show, I had every intention of saying no. I tried to put on my show face and smile as usual, but it didn't work. Those green eyes brought back everything I'd been so successful at hiding and I felt myself falling for him. It only took 5 minutes of conversation for me to completely give in to him and that was what scared me. If I allowed myself to feel, then I would loose it all. I would feel the pain of being abandoned, the fear of being alone, the ache for attention and love, and most of all the feeling of being a human being.

I only had two more years left and if I could keep up the charade, then I would make it. I could not let Noah Puckerman get in my way, no matter how irresistible he was. I would not let it happen.

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><p><strong>-Just some background on this story: It takes place in season 1 although I'm not exactly following the show. Quinn was never pregnant and Rachel never dated Finn. Puck is a sophomore and Rachel is a freshman and they were best friends as kids.<strong>

**-If you have any questions/opinions feel free to send me a message I will respond! Also you can follow me on twitter msnikitaleigh_**


	3. The Plan: Part 2

**Author's note: Wow I can't believe it's been so long since I've updated I am so sorry! Anyway, I'm back now and I'll be updating regularly so be on the look out for new chapter every few days or so. Thanks so much for those of you who reviewed it really makes my day. I hope you enjoy this next chapter.**

**Happy reading and please review :D**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Glee!**

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><p><strong>Noah P.O.V<strong>

I laughed to myself as I made my way back to my truck. My plan was going way better than expected. I had even gotten a kiss, it was nothing special just a peck on the cheek and a hug, but it sent shivers up my spine and made my throat close up. I decided to send her a text to let her know how much I really appreciated her being there for me.

**[Noah] thnks 4 comin. I had fun. **I sent as I laid back on my pillow when I got home.

**[Rachel] Thank you for inviting me. You were amazing up there. **She sent back instantly. I knew she couldn't resist me.

**[Noah] It was fun hangin w/u can we do it again sometime?**

**[Rachel] I told you before Noah that I have a very busy schedule and I don't have time :(**

I loved it when girls played hard to get, it gave me a challenge. I know Berry wanted me, I could feel it. We have chemistry and I ain't giving up that easily, she's worth the fight.

**[Noah] come on babe I promise i'll make it worth your while ;)**

**[Rachel] is that some kind of sexual innuendo because you know I don't approve.**

**[Noah] Only if you want it to be baby**

**[Rachel] I'm going to bed now**

**[Noah] wait. one more thing**

**[Rachel] yes noah?**

**[Noah] Can I give u a ride 2 skool 2 morrow?**

**[Rachel] and why would you want to do that?**

**[Noah] cause I like u Rach and u won't go out w/me so I gotta find another way to spend time w/u**

**[Rachel] You could try coming to class every once and a while, you could see me then.**

**[Noah] answer the question Rach**

**[Rachel] A ride to school would be lovely. I'll see you at 7:15**

**[Noah] Good nite my hot Jewish American princess :D**

**[Rachel] Sweet dreams Noah**

I decided to take her advice and get a good sleep, my dreams were bound to be sweet considering she was the topic of every single on of them. I laid back on my pillow and let my thoughts wonder to the smoking brunette I was picking up in the morning.

**Rachel P.O.V**

The only reason I had agreed to let Noah drive me to school was because I didn't feel like walking and bus fair was expensive and I really didn't have the money. As soon as I put my phone down I ran and changed my clothes for work. It was around 10:00 p.m. and my shift would be starting soon. Any other normal high school student would be cramming for an exam or getting ready for bed, but not me. The only way I could support myself was if I worked every job possible. After school I gave vocal lessons at the community center, but only for students living outside of Lima. Then I cleaned the dance studio I used to be a part of after they closed. After that, I headed down to Joe's Bar, my most recent job.

The bar was always packed with drunk older men who hit on me frequently which meant I got great tips. It only took a little bit of flirting and some fake phone numbers and I'd leave the bar with at least $60.00. I honestly don't know how I landed the job in the first place. I was only 16, not even old enough to set foot in the bar.

_"Hey baby, come here for a minute" a man asked as I walked by._

_I knew better than to talk to strangers especially ones that hung out outside of bars late at night._

_"Hey, I got something for you" he said, following me._

_"I'm not interested" I said, continuing on my way. _

_Today had been a long day and I was exhausted. I had to cancel my vocal lesson and go in and clean the studio before school because Mr. Shue had us stay after for a boys against girls competition. The girls had decided to go with "Run the World" by Beyonce but I talked them out of it. I mean the whole point of the competition was to do something out of the normal and singing a song about the empowerment of women was not exactly out of the normal. Of course when I suggested we do something I got bashed and harassed for an hour, but it was worth it. We ending up winning with a Bon Jovi mash-up thanks to my musical knowledge and talent. _

_"Fine, if you don't want the job" he said turning back._

_"Wait, what job?" I asked, I was in desperate need of money. The bills were piling up and my dads hadn't left me a single cent to pay for anything._

_"I was just gonna offer you a job as a bartender, nothing fancy" he shrugged._

_"Me as a bartender?" I questioned. This guy couldn't be serious._

_"Yea, you look like the kind of girl who'd be interested. Are you?" he asked._

_I almost laughed before I realized what I was wearing. I was completely decked out in leather with heavy black eyeliner from my earlier performance._

_"How much?" I asked._

_"9.50 an hour, plus tips" he answered._

_"When do I start?" I asked._

_"10:30" he said._

_"Roxanne" I said, holding out my hand._

_"Joe" he said smiling back._

"Where the hell have you been Roxie, you're ten minutes late" Joe yelled as I entered the bar.

Joe always liked to give me crap about being late. I looked at my watch, it was 10:12 I was only two minutes behind schedule. I hung my coat up in the back room and straightened out my clothes. I was wearing a short pair of black shorts because I always got compliments from the guys on my legs, a cropped pink shirt that showed my bra and my stomach, a pair of black heels that made my feet hurt, and pink knee socks because I knew it drove them crazy. Overall, I felt like a cheap prostitute but if it help put food on the table then I'd do it.

I already had enough saved to pay for my trip and expenses once I got to New York, anything else I made went straight to the house. It took a lot of money to keep the house running and the bills were getting out of hand. Of course my fathers were able to afford it they were lawyers, but I'm a sixteen year old girl working three jobs and I was struggling. I thought about selling the house so many times, it would solve my debt problem but it then everyone would know.

I had done so well in keeping my secret, no one knew my dads had left and if anyone did ask (which they never did) I'd just tell them that they were away on an extended business trip. I had stopped going to temple so people wouldn't notice I was alone and I always shopped ousted of Lima.

"Hey Roxie, come here gorgeous" Mr. Stevenson said, tugging on my ponytail.

He was a regular customer and was usually very nice. His wife left him two years ago for their gardner and he's been coming here ever since. He never caused me any trouble and he always ordered the same thing. I was grateful it was him because he was one of the very few guys that didn't try to feel me up.

"What can I get for you Mr. Stevenson?" I asked sweetly.

"Ah, the usual" he sighed, "and get something for yourself" he winked as he handed me a twenty dollar bill.

I quickly shoved the money in my pocket before anyone noticed. Joe didn't mind the fact that I got so much attention, but he hated it when the guys paid me more than they did for their drinks.

"Will do" I said, rubbing my fingers up his arm.

After I had served a few drinks, had my ass slapped a couple times, and gave out a few fake numbers and addresses, I went in the back to count my money.

"$75.00" I whispered. Not bad, that would pay for this week's groceries at least.

My shift ended at 12:30 and I had to take the bus home. Usually I was the only one riding at this hour, but that was a good thing. By the time I got home, it was 1:15 and I still had homework to do. I had completely forgotten about dinner, which I did most nights mostly because I had nothing to eat and I went straight to my books.

**Puck P.O.V.**

I had set my alarm extra early so I could surprise Rachel with breakfast from our favorite bakery. I put on one of my good shirts and spent an extra 15 minutes in the shower so I'd smell good for her.

"Hey Allen" I said, walking into the bakery.

"Hey hey, look who's here? I haven't seen you in ages, how have you been? Where's Rachel?" he asked excitedly.

I could remember all of the times we'd come to this bakery as kids, Allen the owner, used to sell us donuts for 10 cents. Rachel would always get sprinkles and I'd always get sugar then we'd split it in half and share. We'd go to the park and run around for the rest of the day and then we'd go home to my house and Ma would make us dinner. I never told anyone that I was friends with Rachel and I regretted the first time I'd slushied her.

_It was the first day of my sophomore year. I had made the football team and chicks were really started to dig me. Things were going great at school and I still had Rachel as my best friend. She'd become extremely clingy lately, but I was sure that would change once we started school together. I couldn't wait to introduce her to all my new friends because I knew they'd love her as much as I did._

_I woke up extremely happy to a text from Rachel, telling me she'd meet me at school. I decided to grab her a doughnut from the bakery and a grape slushy._

_I was on my way to school when I noticed her at her locker. She had on those damn knee socks that made my dick hard and the shortest skirt she owned, making me drool. _

_"Hey Rach" I said as I approached her._

_"Hi Noah" she sniffled. It was then that I realized she was crying._

_"Here hold this I got you some breakfast" I said, handing her the slushy._

_"It's okay Noah, I'm not really hungry" she whispered._

_"What's wrong?" I asked, wrapping my arms around her._

_"Some jocks said some hurtful things that's all" she said._

_"Who?" I snapped. No one messed with my girl, I'd bust their skulls._

_"What's this? You hanging with the freak Puckerman?" Karofsky snided._

_"What no, what're talking about man?" I asked, pushing Rachel away I didn't want her getting involved with this asshole. Dave was an upperclassmen and I wanted to get in with him and his crew, I knew he was bad news but I wanted to be popular._

_"You and the loser" he said, pointing at Rachel who had buried her face in my chest._

_"Hey man watch it" I snapped._

_"Or what? You gonna go tell on me? Your little girlfriend already threatened me" Azimio laughed._

_"Shut the fuck up" I hissed._

_"Don't swear Noah, it's degrading" Rachel said sternly._

_"Oh look, she'd already got him whipped" he laughed._

_"I'm warning you, one more thing and I'll-"_

_"What?" he asked, cutting me off. "She must be good in bed for you to keep her around" he laughed._

_"Come on, why don't you give us a little show" Azimio said, pushing me into her causing the slushy to spill all over her._

_I watched in horror as she screamed and ran down the hall. I had every intention of chasing after her and making sure she was okay when Karofsky grabbed me._

_"Listen Puckerman, you need to make a choice it's us or the freaks you can't have it booths ways" he said before walking away._

_"I'm in" I said forgetting all about Rachel and the smashed doughnuts in my pocket. This was a once and a lifetime opportunity, Rachel would forgive me._

"I'm picking her up right now?" I smiled.

"Alright then here's your doughnuts" he said, handing me the pastries without me actually ordering. "These are on the house" he said handing me two cartons of orange juice.

"Thank Allen" I said, grabbing the bag.

"Hey Noah, don't be a stranger and bring Rachel around every once and a while. Don't keep her all to yourself" he winked.

"See ya" I laughed as I headed out.

I ran up the stairs to her house and rang the bell, I knew I was early but I wanted us to have time to eat before we left. After five minutes I rang the bell again before knocking. She still hadn't come to the door so I grabbed the key she kept in the mailbox and let myself in.

"Rach?" I called into the empty house.

I dropped the food off in the kitchen while I looked around. The house had changed since I'd last been here, it seemed empty almost as if no one lived here. The pictures that had scattered the walls were gone and the paintings and expensive vases had disappeared.

"Rachel, where are you?" I yelled before stumbling into the dining room to find her fast asleep at the table.

"Hey babe wake up" I said, shaking her lightly.

"Noah?" she asked drowsily.

"Morning beautiful" I smiled.

"Oh my god, what time is it?" she asked, jumping up and rubbing her eyes. I resisted the urge to readjust my dick when I noticed she was wearing shorts, a see through white tank top, and no bra.

"Relax babe, you've got time" I laughed. "Why don't you go take a shower? I got us some breakfast" I said, running my fingers through her disheveled hair.

"You did?" she asked with her big brown eyes.

"Yea, doughnuts from Allen's" I said trying not to sound like a total pussy.

"Oh Noah, that's so sweet" she said, grabbing my hands. "But I don't think I'll have time, I didn't finish my homework and I'm already falling behind".

"Hey don't worry about it, Puckzilla's got it covered" I said, as I pushed her towards the stairs.

"Noah I-"

"Don't wanna hear it, go get sexy" I said, slapping her ass and sending her up to her room.

**Rachel P.O.V.**

I couldn't believe I fell asleep without finishing my homework, usually I set a timer so I'd wake up in time to finish it. I was extremely embarrassed when Noah found me drooling over my math book, but I couldn't believe he was actually here. I didn't expect him to show up and part of me wished that he didn't. Just being around him made me shiver with anticipation and I didn't want to feel anything.

I hurried up and showered before stopping and looking in the mirror. I tried to avoid it because what I saw disgusted me. I had large bags under my eyes, my hair was stringy and dull, my skin was pale, and I was disgustingly thin. I knew it wasn't smart to go a few days without eating, but school lunches were expensive and I rarely had food in the house to eat. I ran down the stairs in my usual skirt and sweater, only to find him sitting at the table with two doughnuts and orange juice.

"Noah, what is all this? I told you we don't have time I need to finish my homework" I said looking around for my bag.

"And I told you I had it covered" he said, handing me my pink bag.

"You did my math work?" I said, flipping through the book. All of the answers were right.

"Yea" he smiled sheepishly.

"But how? You don't even go to class" I said.

"I don't go to class because I don't feel like wasting my time" he said, walking closer to me. His smell immediately invaded my senses and I felt my knees go weak at the delicious scent. "I already know the material, so why bother with sitting there?" he asked.

"You understand calculus?" I asked.

"Course I do, I had it freshman year" he smirked. "Just 'cause I don't use big words doesn't mean I'm stupid" he said, slicing the doughnuts in half.

"Of course not Noah, I never implied that you were ignorant I'm just surprised that you understand something so complex while I'm struggling through it" I said.

"I can help you if you need it" he said, giving me half of his and taking half of mine.

"I'd really appreciate it, but I-"

"Lemme guess, you don't have time" he mocked. "What about during study hall?" he asked.

I usually spent study hall doing all my other homework so I'd be able to squeeze in an extra lesson before cleaning the studio and heading to Joe's. I knew spending time with Noah could be bad for me because as much as I hated to admit it, I still had feelings for him. In fact, he was the only person I felt anything for since my dads left. I really wanted to say no, but as soon as I looked into this sparkling green eyes, I knew I couldn't resist.

"Fine" I said, trying to justify my reasoning in my head. "But only because I really need the help" I added.

"S'kool, I only aim to please" he smirked and I found my panties getting a little damp.

This was not happening, I would not get involved with him. Today would be the last day he would drive me to school and I'd only speak to him in glee and study hall. I didn't care how charming or irresistible he was, I had to get out of this town and I couldn't do that with him around.


	4. Apologies and Progress

**Author's note: So here is the next chapter, I hope you all like it. It's mostly in Puck's POV, but the next chapter will be mostly Rachel centered to explain her thoughts and opinions on everything**

**Disclaimer: Don't own glee**

**Happy reading and please review! :D**

* * *

><p><strong>Noah P.O.V.<strong>

I sat at the counter eating my doughnut while I waited for Rach to get ready. After 10 minutes, I had finished my breakfast and decided to grab some more juice out of her fridge. I made my way around the scarily empty kitchen and opened it, only to find it completely empty. Seriously the only thing in it was bread, water, and a few cartons of yogurt.

"Noah, what're you doing?" she asked as she slammed it shut.

"I was just looking for some juice, but you obviously don't have any or anything else for that matter" I said.

"Um..I haven't had time to do much shopping since my dads have been away, and we always shop together so I've been waiting until they come back" she said smiling brightly.

"So what the hell have you been eating?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Noah you know that the Berry family is completely dedicated to take-out" she laughed as she slapped my chest.

"Oh yea" I said, noticing how forced her laugh sounded and how fake her smile looked.

"So what's going on with your house, you redecorating or something?" I asked, looking around at the bare walls.

"No, why would you ask that?" she asked, sipping on her orange juice.

"Because your house is fucking empty" I said.

"Oh no we donated it" she said, giving me that big fake smile.

"You donated your furniture?" I asked.

"Not all of it, just the stuff that we don't use. We never sat on the couch or used the TV, and the decorations were unnecessary so we decided to donate them to a family who had recently lost their house in a fire" she said confidently.

"Okay" I said slowly. I knew Rachel and her family were generous, but giving away all your furniture was just too weird.

"Are you ready to go?" she asked as she wrapped up her uneaten doughnut.

"Yep" she answered.

"You're not going to eat?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm not hungry" she said quickly. "Come on let's go before we're late" she said, dragging me out the door.

"Wait I wanted to ask you something?" I said, pulling her back. Apparently I pulled her too hard because she came flying back into my chest. I groaned at the warm feel of her small body pressed against mine, she fit so perfectly it was like we were made for each other.

"Y-yes" she said softly. Just hearing her breathy little moan told me that she was feeling it too. Every time I touched her, a spark went off. There was definitely chemistry between us and she felt it, I just needed her to embrace it.

"Will you sing a duet with me?" I whispered seductively in her ear. I knew she totally got off on performing and if I could get her to do it with me then maybe she'd go out with me.

"You want to sing with me?" she asked in shock.

"I want to do a lot more with you than sing babe, trust me" I said, grinding lightly against her. "but I know you're busy and you deserve to be romanced by some great guy who will sweep you off your feet and some day I hope that'll be me, but I know that won't happen until you've won your Tony's or whatever fucking broadway award you want so for now I'll just settle for a song with you" I smiled.

"That was the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me Noah" she said, turning around in my arms so I could look into her tear filled chocolate eyes.

"You think that was nice? You know if you were my girl, I'd treat you like a queen Rach you deserve it" I whispered.

"No I don't" she said, pulling away.

"Yes you do, you deserve so much more than some asshole can give you Rach" I said, pulling her back towards me.

"Really because I don't see anyone lined up to go out with me do you Noah? People don't like me and I've learned to accept that. I have no friends because I'm a freak and a loser. Whatever infatuation you have with me is beyond my understanding and whatever friendship we had as kids is over, and you ended it. So if I deserved to be treated like a princess then tell me why people hate me? Tell me why they call me names and push me in the halls?" she cried.

"Because you're amazing" I whispered.

"What?" she gasped.

"They don't like you because you are amazing and they're jealous" I said. "Come on Rach, don't act like you don't know how smart, beautiful, and talented you are" I teased. "You are going to make something of yourself babe and everyone knows it. The sad truth is that none of us are gonna get outta this town because we don't have want it takes. We're not smart enough or talented enough, but you are Rach. You've got what it takes to be somebody and they hate that, people like Quinn and the cheerios are just jealous and they'll say anything to put you down" I said, stroking her soft arms.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I asked.

"Because I like you Rach and I want my best friend back. I miss you and I'm tired of being surrounded by idiots, I need someone who I can talk to seriously and that's you. We've always been there for each other in the past and I want that back. I know it's been a while and I should have apologized a while ago, but I'm sorry Rachel. I'm so sorry that I didn't come after you that day and if I could change things I would. I would have never picked those puck heads over you, but I was stupid back then. Trust me babe, if I would have known what a huge mistake I was making I would have never went with them" I said sincerely.

"I'm sorry too Noah" she said quietly.

"For what babe?" I asked. I was the world's biggest asshole to her and yet she was apologizing to me?

"For all the nagging" she said. "I know things were hard on you and your family when your father left and I'm sure my constant clinging and need for attention was annoying" she said.

"Rach, that had nothing to do with it"' I said honestly.

"Thank you for apologizing Noah" she said.

"I meant every word of it babe, I want us to be friends again and maybe even something more" I said, laying my head down on her shoulder.

"Would you maybe settle for a duet for now?" she asked.

"Hell yea, I'll settle for anything if it means I'll get to be with you" I smiled.

"I'm not ready for a relationship yet Noah, I've worked too hard to let anything distract me" she said seriously.

"I know that and that's why I want this. We can help each other babe, we can get out together" I said enthusiastically. "And maybe even end up falling for each other in the process" I hinted.

"We'll see Noah, we'll see" she said giggling as she headed to my truck.

Hell yea, we were making progress.

**Rachel P.O.V.**

When I came downstairs, I did not expect to find Noah Puckerman looking through my empty refrigerator. I could see the concern all over his face when I made up some excuse as to why I had no food. Grocery shopping was a pain and like most things it was expensive. I had to take the bus out of Lima, so no one would ask why I was alone, then I had to buy all of my food, and then I had to carry it all on the bus and then back home.

I knew he didn't buy the lie about the furniture or the take-out, but it was the best I could do. The truth behind the furniture was simple, I sold it online. What did I need a couch for? The crystal vases sold for quite a lot, but all of that money had been used to pay for the mortgage. I didn't need all the paintings on the wall, so I sold those as well. I couldn't think of lie to explain why I had taken down all of the pictures of me and my dads, so I prayed he didn't ask about it.

The truth was that I wasn't the one who took them down in the first place. They slowly started to disappear when my dads started to leave me alone more and more. I'd come home from school to find my dad upstairs in the computer room with the door locked and my daddy out getting drunk. I would make dinner for us all, hoping to spend some time with them but by the time my daddy got home I would be asleep at the table.

I couldn't count the number of times I fell asleep at the table, only to wake up to an empty house. I would wrap up the food and put it in the refrigerator and hope that they would eat it later on.

They never did.

I continued to cook and clean for them to let them know that I still loved them. I remember when I so lonely that I took dinner to my dad, Hiram in his office.

_"Dad, can I come in?" I asked shyly as I knocked on his door._

_"What do you want? Is it an emergency, do you need money?" he asked from behind the door._

_"N-no, I just wanted to talk and maybe have dinner with you" I said meekly._

_"I'm not interested" he said in a clipped voice._

_"We don't have to talk, we can just eat together" I said, feeling the tears begin to fall. I didn't want any attention, just some companionship, was that to much to ask?_

_"Why do you think I'm in here Rachel? It's because I don't want to see you, I don't even want to be in the same room as you" he snapped._

_"I'm sorry" I cried. "I'm sorry for whatever I did, please just sit with me" I begged._

_I sat there and cried for forty-five minutes. I know he heard me, but he didn't say a word. I couldn't take the negligence anymore, so I decided to try something different._

_"Dad?" I said, knocking quietly again._

_"What" he huffed._

_"I could use some new clothes, I keep getting slushied at school and all of my sweaters are stained" I said. I knew he wouldn't take me shopping, but I was hoping he'd open the door so I could at least see him. I hadn't laid eyes on either of them in over three weeks and I needed to know that I wasn't alone._

_"What the hell does that mean?" he asked._

_"Sometimes the kids at school pick on me and they throw drinks at me so all of my clothes are ruined" I explained._

_"And why do they throw things at you?" he asked._

_"I don't know" I whispered._

_"Oh come on Rachel, you and I both know why" he said._

_"B-because I'm a freak and a loser" I cried._

_"There see, was that so hard to admit?" he asked._

_"I-is that why you and daddy leave me?" I asked._

_"That's one of the reasons" he sighed, his tone seemed so distant as if he could care less that I was outside crying my eyes out._

_"I'll change" I said suddenly. "I'll be better and less annoying, then can we eat together?" I asked hopefully._

_"No Rachel" he siad sternly._

_"Please, dad I won't talk at all, you won't even know I'm there" I begged, placing my hands over my heart hoping to keep it in one piece because each one of his cold, hard, words felt like it was ripping apart._

_"Alright, how about you start now" he suggested._

_So I did. I sat outside his office for the rest of the night and I didn't say a word. I sat there until my daddy, Charles came home from the bar. I watched as he walked right past me and into the bedroom without saying a word or even glancing my way. I couldn't stop the tears from pouring down my face, but even then I stayed silent. I stayed there until my dad came out of the office, he opened the door and turned straight into the bathroom. When he came out, he walked right past me just like my daddy. I sat there for a few more minutes before taking the plate of cold food down to the kitchen and rinsed in down the drain. I cleared the neatly set table, took the garbage out, and set up coffee for them to have in the morning. I walked up the stairs and stopped at their closed bedroom door and smiled. Maybe if I stayed silent, they would talk to me. I had stayed silent for a few hours and I got to see both of them, even if it were only for a few minutes._

_I stayed silent for the rest of that week and no one noticed. That's when the pictures started to disappear and then that Saturday when I went to make them the breakfast I knew they wouldn't eat, they were gone as well._

I snapped out of my memory in time to hear Noah rambling off some sort of apology, I stopped him before he could say something to hurt me. I didn't want to hear his lies about how he was sorry for leaving me. He left just like my dads did and they'd been gone for almost a year and a half now. I didn't cry over them and I surely was not going to cry over him.

I was about to tell him to leave, when I felt his warm muscular arms wrap around me. I could feel his breath on the back on my neck and all of the loneliness went away. I leaned into his body and got lost in the feeling of security and warmth. I closed my eyes and pretended that I had a family who loved me, that I had friends who supported me, and that I had a boyfriend who thought I was amazing and for a few minutes, I was able to believe it.

I turned around and looked into his hazel eyes to tell him that I didn't believe him and that no one thought I was anything but a loser, but I stopped when I noticed something different. He looked serious, like he believed what he was telling me was true.

"Why are you being so nice to me Noah?" I asked. I wanted the truth, I needed the truth. I only wanted one person to care about me, just one and if he was telling me the truth, then maybe I could trust him again.

The truth was that I missed him, he was my best friend for years. He was my only friend. He was there when my dads fussed over me, back when they actually loved me. He was there when I lost my first tooth and won my first dance recital. Noah was there for every important moment of my life and I loved him for it.

I listened to his heartwarming apology and I wanted to cry. It had been so long since I've been given a compliment, or even been spoken to in a kind manner. I knew I was falling for him and listening to him tell me that he wanted a relationship was too much.

I knew I hurt him when I told him I wasn't ready, I could see it in his eyes. I wanted to be with him, but I couldn't risk losing everything I had worked for. I needed to get out of this town. I needed to make something of myself so that everyone would love me. I needed to be able to look back at the person I am now and feel sorry. I needed to be loved and the only way to get that was to get out of Lima.

**Noah P.O.V.**

I couldn't believe I got Rach to sing a song with me. After apologizing to her and letting her know how I felt about her, I felt like a better person. I knew people would look at me all crazy and shit when I started hanging around Rachel, but I didn't care. She really was an amazing person and someone I wanted to be with. I missed her as my friend and being around her sent chills down my spine and made my stomach feel all funny.

"Hey babe" I said, once we were on the way to school.

"Yea?" she answered.

"I have an idea for a song" I said quietly.

"Really? That's great Noah" she said smiling brightly.

"I just want to let you know how I really feel about you, and I think this song says it all" I said.

"Okay, you want to tell me what it is?" she asked excitedly.

"No, you can wait till glee" I said, teasing her.

"Oh come on Noah" she whined. "You can't just tell me that you have some amazing idea and then say I have to wait to hear it, that's not fair at all" she pouted.

I resisted the urge to laugh at her cute puppy dog face and moan at her pouty, kissable, lips.

"Pout all you want princess, I ain't telling you yet" I laughed.

"Please Noah" she said, grabbing my hand like a little kid.

"Nope, you'll just have to wait" I smiled and squeezed her hand.

"What can I do to get you to tell me?" she asked.

"Hmm.." I said, pretending to think about it. I could make some sort of sexual reference, but I knew she wouldn't appreciate it so I played it cool. "How about a kiss?" I asked.

"Noah" she groaned in frustration as she tried to pull her hand away.

"Come on babe, just a little peck" I said, tightening my grip on her soft hands.

"Fine" she grumbled as she pressed her lips against mine.

As soon as her lips made contact with mine I felt a burst of lighting shoot straight up my spine and I immediately pressed against her. I thought she was going to pull back, but she didn't. I decided to take a risk and push my tongue into her mouth and was surprise when she opened and wrapped her arms around my neck.

I didn't want to push her because I knew she didn't want a relationship, but judging by the way her tongue was rubbing against mine I could tell she feeling the sparks. I nipped at her lower lip, while moving down to place wet kisses on her neck.

"Rach" I moaned as I threaded my hands through her silky brown hair.

"Mmm" she groaned in response when I sucked hard on the junction between her neck and shoulder.

We continued kissing until we ran out of breath and pulled away. I pressed my forehead against hers and inhaled her sweet smell "That was amazing" I breathed.

"It was a mistake" she whispered.

"You don't really believe that" I smirked.

"I can't do this Noah" she said quietly.

"Why? Because it feels good? Or because it's right? We're meant to be together Rach" I said, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"I don't know" she said, shaking her head.

"Tell me you don't want this and I'll stop. Tell me that you didn't feel that spark between us and I'll leave you alone. Tell me it's wrong" I said angrily.

"I can't" she said whispered against my lips.

"Then I'm going to kiss you again" I said, leaning forward and pressing my lips gently against hers. This time, she was the one to push into my mouth and I gladly let her in.

She tasted like heaven, like honeysuckle and vanilla mixed and it was intoxicating. I wanted to taste every inch of her skin and feel the smoothness under my fingertips so badly. The kiss was gentle and delicate, but it was still intense and I could feel my skin lighting on fire with every touch from her fingers and in every moan that fell from her lips.

"What do we do now?" she asked, once we pulled apart.

"We go to school and work on our duet" I smiled as I started my truck.

"I meant between us, where do we go from here?" she clarified.

"That depends Rach, where do you want us to go?" I asked. I wanted to move forward with her, not just sexually but emotionally as well. I wanted to love her, hell I already did love her who was I kidding, but I wanted to fall in love with her.

"I want to be with you Noah, I really do but-

"But what Rach? What are you so afraid of?" I asked.

"That you'll leave me" she said, a few tears sliding down her face.

"Rach, what're you talking about I'm trying to get in not out" I said.

"Yes, but what happens if we continue this Noah? Once everyone finds out, you'll leave. They'll slushy you and call you names too and then you'll leave me and I can't handle that" I said.

"Babe, I'll never leave" I said. "I don't give a fuck about what people think and no one and I repeat no fucking one is gonna slushy me or you for that matter" I said.

"What are you gonna do, beat up the entire student body?" she asked sarcastically. "Just face it Noah, we will never work" she whispered.

"We can Rach, we can do anything together. Don't you remember when we were little and we used to pretend we had super powers and we were invincible? Well together we can be, we can get outta here Rach me and you we'll go to New York or wherever you want" I pleaded.

I might as well have handed her my balls, because the things that were coming out of my mouth were totally not badass. This girl was seriously messing with my mind, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

"I can't Noah, as much as I want this, I can't ruin everything based on your promises" she cried.

"Rachel please" I begged as I wiped away her tears, I didn't care if I sounded like the biggest damn pussy in the world I needed to be with her. I loved her. "Just give me a chance".

"Fine, two weeks" she said sternly.

"Two weeks what?" I asked.

"I'll go out with you for two weeks and if you can prove to me that you're telling the truth, then I'll consider your offer" she said.

Fuck yes.

"Babe, get ready because these two weeks are gonna rock your world" I smirked.

"You have to ask me first" she giggled.

"Rachel Berry, will you be my girlfriend for the next two weeks?" I asked, stroking my thumb over her knuckles.

"I'd be honored to Noah, thank you for asking" she said, pecking my lips sweetly.

"So since I'm your boyfriend, do I at least get to touch your boobs?" I asked dipping my finger under her shirt to stroke her smooth skin.

"Only if your a good boy" she smirked as she patted my thigh.

I gulped, the thought of even getting close to her breasts made my jeans tighten and having her hand next to my cock wasn't helping.

"Baby, I can be a very good boy" I said, pulling into the parking lot.

"Good because good boys always get rewarded" she whispered as she bit down on my ear lobe.

"Mmm you are ridiculously sexy, did you know that?" I asked, sucking on her neck to leave my mark. I wanted everyone to know she was mine.

"It's okay, you don't have to tell me I'm pretty just to feel me up Noah" she said.

"What're talking about?" I asked.

"You don't have to lie, I know I'm not attractive" she said shyly.

"Babe what the fuck are you talking about, you're fucking gorgeous" I said, looking straight into her eyes.

"I'm not pretty like Quinn or Santana, Noah" she said.

"You're right you're way hotter" I said, lifting up her chin. "Don't ever think for a second that you're not beautiful because you are Rachel inside and out" I said sincerely. If it wasn't for my massive hard on, I would have thought I'd grown a vagina or something. This sensitive shit was really not cool.

Seriously, I can't believe she thought she wasn't pretty. Rachel had so many good qualities, it was hard to count them. Of course there were the obvious ones like her ass and her legs, but there was also the internal ones like her caring heart and her need to help people when the needed it. Rachel was a good person, she was smart, funny, talented, and hot.

"You really mean it Noah?" she asked with her big doe eyes.

"Course I do babe. Here, feel this" I said, rubbing her hand over my erection, watching as her eyes widened and then glazed over. Hell yea she totally wanted the Puckasaurus. "That is how much of an effect you have on me and I have some pretty high standards".

"Yes, but can you live up to them?" she asked, squeezing my dick gently before reaching into the back to get her bag.

In one day I got Rachel Berry to be my girl, sweet talked her into letting me touch her tits, and I got her to feel me up.

I am a fucking stud.


	5. Please Don't Leave Me

**Author's note: I am so sorry for not updating sooner, but you can blame my dog for that. I had the entire chapter written up last week, but he stepped on my laptop with his big ass paws and deleted it so I had to re-do everything.**

**I'm also sorry for the typos and grammar mistakes, like I said this is a re-write so it's probably not as great as the original.**

**Also, please R&R some of my other stories and vote on my poll! Whichever couple is voted the most, I'll write a story about them!**

**Also, some of you noticed the 'not-so-nice' review left from the last chapter, please don't let that stop you from reading. It was honestly just some constructive criticism, but thank you to those of you who did send me messages about it. Everything has been resolved.**

**Happy reading and please review! :D**

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><p>I leaned over and placed one last chaste kiss on her deliciously plump lips, before grabbing my sunglasses and jumping outta my truck. I walked over to her side and popped open the door, smirking at her surprised face.<p>

"What?" I asked cooly.

"Nothing, I just didn't think you'd want to be seen with me that's all" she said as she took my hand.

"What would be the purpose of us dating then Rachel?" I asked, leaning against her.

"But your social status could drastically decrease if you're seen with me Noah" she said, looking down.

"Pfft, yea right babe you act like I care about all that shit" I scoffed.

"But you might get slushied" she whispered.

"You really think someone's gonna mess with me Rach? Have you seen my guns?" I asked, flexing for her. "We've been over that already".

"I supposed you're right" she sighed.

"Look Rach, don't worry about those fools in there. I told you they're just jealous and they're trying to bring you down, but I got your back babe. No one messes with Puck's girl" I said, stroking her soft cheeks.

"Okay" she giggled, pressing her lips against mine.

"But just in case they don't get the memo" I said, biting down roughly on her neck. I sucked hard, teasing and nipping at the flesh beneath, feeling pleased when I pulled away and looked at the bruised skin.

"Did you just give me a hickey Noah Puckerman?" she asked displeased, but the glimmer in her eyes gave her away.

"Maybe" I shrugged, biting at her bottom lip.

I found it really hard to not kiss her. Every time I looked at her flushed face and plump lips, I couldn't help myself. I felt like I needed to kiss her, I loved kissing her. Never before had I felt that spark or that warm feeling in my belly, only she did that to me and I wanted that feeling to last as long as possible.

"Noah that is both disgusting and degrading" she said, pushing me away.

"I didn't hear you complaining" I said, licking a trail behind her ear. Damn she tasted good, that freaking honey shit was delicious.

"Noah" she shuddered. "I don't appreciated being branded".

"Mm, babe you're lucky a few hickies is all I'm giving you. If I had it my way, I write the words 'Property of Puck' across your ass" I smirked.

"A few? Noah, how many times have you marked me?" she shrieked.

"Only two, but I hope to get around ten by the end of the day" I said, sweeping her hair to the side and placing a kiss on the bruise I had left earlier.

"No more, we're going to be late" she said, swatting at my chest.

"I mean it Rach, you let me know if anyone gives you any crap" I said grabbing her hands and placing kisses on them.

"That's sweet Noah, but I can handle it on my own. I've been doing it for four years" she pointed out.

"Yea, don't remind me" I mumbled as I lifted her out of the car.

I hated the fact that Rachel was bullied and I especially hated that I was one of them. I never called her a name or said something mean about her, I once said that she 'makes me want to light my skin on fire', but that was because she does. Every one of her little touches burns a hole through my skin and sends shivers up my spine. I only ever tossed slushies at her, but it was because I was to big of a pussy to admit that I really liked her.

"You're sweet you know?" she asked, wrapping her legs around my waist.

"How so?" I asked, turning around so I could lean her against the truck.

"You care about me and you're not afraid to admit it, you helped me out of the car and didn't even try to look up my skirt, and you're truly sorry for associating with those neanderthals and making my life a living hell" she said, running her hands up and over my arms making me shiver so badly I almost dropped her.

"First of all I don't just care about you, I love you. Secondly, I did look up your skirt and you're wearing the fucking sexiest pink panties I've ever seen, and thirdly I can't express to you how sorry I am for not coming after you that day" I said, looking into her chocolate pools.

"You love me?" she gasped.

"What? No, um..did I say that out loud?" I asked nervously.

"Yes" she giggled.

"Just forget it, pretend I didn't say that" I said, burying my face in her neck. Blushing was not something the Puckzilla did and I refuse to let anyone see that.

"Why? I thought you weren't embarrasses to be with me" she asked in a hurt voice.

"I'm not, trust me babe those fuckers can go to hell"

"You know what Noah, I don't think this is going to work out. Just forget it, I was wrong about you. I thought maybe if I opened up to at least one person then maybe this year wouldn't be so bad but I was clearly wrong. You don't want to be with me, you just want to sleep with me. You haven't changed a bit" she said, wiggling out of my arms.

"Now wait just a minute princess, you ain't going anywhere. I just poured my entire heart out to you like some fucking pussy and now you say that's it? Fuck that Rach, we had a deal. And you're wrong I do want to be with you, hell yea I want to sleep with you I'd be lying if I said I didn't. Have you looked in the mirror, if you were a dude you'd wanna fuck you too. I know this is complicated, but fuck, you gotta give me a chance Rach. I'm not in this for sex, although that would be an added bonus. I'm in this because I want to be with you, because I get fucking sparks every time we kiss, and because you set my body on fire and I wouldn't have it any other way. Your voice literally melts my heart and your smile takes my breath away. Don't do this Rach, we can make this work" I said, holding her tightly against me.

"You say all that and I want to believe you, but then you tell me you love me and take it back. How am I supposed to feel about that? You love me, but I can't know it or you didn't mean it? I don't understand Noah" she said, tearing up.

"Shit" I whispered. I hated seeing chicks cry and seeing the girl I loved cry was like strangling a puppy. "I love you Rachel, I really do but I didn't want to tell you" I said.

"Why? What's the worst thing that could've happened?" she asked.

"I know some dudes think it's a pussy move, but that's not me. I want to be honest with you Rach, I want everyone to know that I love you and that you're mine, but I didn't want to say it yet" I said.

"Why? Were you afraid of my reaction?" she asked, her big brown eyes searching for an answer.

"No. Well yes, I don't know. Telling your girl that you love them in a parking lot with her legs wrapped around my waist is not exactly romantic. Girls want romance and flowers and shit and I wanted to do that for you. You deserve it Rachel, I want to treat you like a princess" I admitted shyly.

I ran my hands up her back and played with the ends of her hair, hiding my face from her. I didn't want her to see how embarrassed I looked while telling her these things. What if she laughed and told me to piss off? I'd be devastated and I would not let anyone see that look of shame on my face. I hugged her warm body close to mine and felt my heart splinter as she started laughing.

"Noah, why do you think I need all those things?" she asked as I shrugged. "Hey look at me" she said, taking my face between her hands. "All I want is for you to be honest with me Noah, if that's how you're feeling then I want to know. I don't need candles and roses for that".

"I'm sorry Rachel, I really do love you" I said.

"I-

"Don't say it back" I said, covering her mouth. "You won't hurt my feelings if you don't feel the same Rachel. I want to be honest with you and I needed to let you know how I feel. There's no way you can love me after what I've done to you, but I hope to change that. When you're ready feel free to say it back" I smiled. Oh yea, Puckasaurus could be romantic, even in a parking lot.

"Thank you Noah" she said, pressing her lips against mine.

"Don't mention it" I shrugged. "Just remember that you promised to let me touch your tits" I said, earning a smack on the head.

"You can be so vile at times" she laughed as she wrapped her arms around my neck.

"S'part of my charm"

"I think we should go Noah, the bell already rang and if we wait any longer, we'll be late" she said, kissing down my jaw.

"Fuck baby, when you do that I can't see straight let alone think about class" I moaned.

"Do what?" she asked innocently. "This?" she asked, nipping at that sweet spot behind my ear and tugging at the lobe.

"Rach" I warned. Having her center pressed that close to my dick was one thing, but that combined with her electrifying touches and kisses was making me painfully hard.

"Yes Noah" she breathed huskily.

"Don't start something you can't finish".

"Who said we can't finish?" she asked.

"Are you serious right now Rachel, because I'm already about to bust a nut babe" I said, searching her eyes for any hesitance.

"I'm not ready for sex Noah, but we can do other things" she said coyly, unbuttoning my shirt.

"Are you fucking with me Rach?" I asked in disbelief.

"Not yet" she giggled as she pulled me in for a scorching kiss.

I slid my hands up her thighs and around her perfect ass, squeezing tightly as she moaned into my mouth. I could feel the heat coming from her and I knew she was as aroused as I was. I slid one hand under her shirt and palmed her breast through her bra, feeling her nipple pebble through the fabric. I opened the door to my truck and laid her down before crawling on top of her and closing the door.

"Better move fast Puckerman, someone might see" she giggled.

"Way ahead of you babe" I said, lifting up her skirt and rubbing her through her panties. "Babe, you're fucking soaked" I said, pulling at the waistband of her underwear.

"Mm..Noah" she moaned as I kissed down her belly. "Don't tease, we don't have time" she said, undoing the button on my jeans.

"No" I said, pushing her hands away as I continued to kiss her. As hard as I was right now, I wanted to focus on her and of she was anywhere near my dick I would completely blow my load.

I licked a trail down her bellybutton and nipped at her folds.

"Please" she whispered as she slipped her hand inside my pants, rubbing me through my boxers.

"Wait Rach, are you sure about this?" I asked. I knew we weren't about to have sex, but we were still doing something intimate and I'm pretty sure she didn't want to do this in a car.

"What? Yes, Noah" she said frustrated, pushing my head between her legs.

"Have you done this before?" I asked, looking into her darken eyes.

"Only on myself" she panted.

"Fuck that's hot" I whispered, trying to think of anything but a naked Rachel lying spread eagle on her bed, touching herself.

"Noah please" she moaned loudly.

"You're so beautiful" I said, leaning up and pressing a chaste kiss on her lips before licking a long swipe up her slit. "Fuck Rach, you taste so good" I said, digging back in and lapping at her clit.

"Uh..hum..so good" she said, tossing her head back and forth and digging her nails into my shoulders.

"Come for me Rach" I said, tonguing at her opening.

"I'm so close Noah..ah" she hissed as I bit down on her nub.

I continued my ministrations until I felt her hand work it's way into my pants and stroke my cock.

"Oh fuck babe" I moaned, as she pumped her hand up and down.

"Come with me Noah" she said, squeezing the tip.

I spread her legs as far as possible and licked a long slow trail from her ass to her swollen bud before sucking hard, holding her hips down as she bucked and squirmed underneath me.

"Oh god, oh god Noah!" she screamed as she came, shuddering when I licked up her sweet juices.

"So beautiful" I said again, leaning over her and kissing her passionately, letting her taste herself for the first time.

I continued kissing her until she pushed me back and straddled my hips.

"Rach, what're do-ah!" I sighed in relief as she pulled down my pants.

"Oh my god" she gasped as my cock sprung free.

"You like what you see?" I smirked, twitching when she cupped my balls in her warm hand.

"I've never seen one before" she said, trailing her fingers up and down. "It's so big!" she said with hunger in her eyes.

I couldn't help but get a huge ego boost. My erection stood straight up under her touch and the head was swollen and purple. I needed to come in the next two minutes or I was going to burst.

"Rach" I hissed as her fist wrapped around me.

"Guide me?" she asked innocently as I wrapped my hand around hers and pumped up and down at a fast pace. I wanted to savor her touch and have her stroke me slowly and lovingly, but right now I needed release.

"Fuck" I said, letting her take over as I thrusted into her hand.

"Is it good?" she asked, biting her lip sexily.

"So good baby, you have no idea" I said, closing my eyes.

I reached down under the seat and grabbed a towel to catch the mess and almost screamed when she started pumping her hand at a furious pace.

"Ah..mm..baby" I moaned as I licked my lips.

"Let go Noah" she whispered as she sucked on my neck.

"Rachel!" I yelled as I spurted my hot come all over the towel and her hand. "God I love you" I said, connecting our lips in a fierce embrace.

After we had fixed our clothes, we hurried into the school so we wouldn't be late. I tucked Rachel under my arm and smiled when she intertwined our fingers. I kissed the top of her head and walked her to her locker.

"Everyone's staring" she whispered, looking up at me with her big brown eyes.

"So, we're a couple a good looking Jews babe of course they're gonna stare" I said. "You should probably get used to it, when we go to New York thousands of people will be staring at you babe, you're gonna be a star" I said.

"You say that like you're coming too" she said.

"I am, after this two weeks is up you're not going to be able to live without me babe. You're gonna be begging me to come along" I smirked.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that Noah, you haven't even taken me on a date yet" she said, pulling out some books.

"Yea and you still let me in your panties, so what's your point?" I whispered, smirking as her face turned bright red.

"Noah, that is highly inappropriate someone could hear" she scolded.

"You weren't saying that before when you were screaming my name babe" I said, taking the books out of her hand.

I then figured out the difference between normal Rachel and horny Rachel. Horny Rachel was carefree and exciting while regular Rachel was uptight and controlling. I decided that I liked both Rachel's equally as much, but horny Rachel was definitely more fun to be around.

"So, are you going to actually attend class today Noah because I refuse to be associated with anyone who doesn't take education seriously" she said.

"Ugh babe, I thought we agreed that I didn't need to go to class" I groaned.

"Just because you excel in one particular subject does not exempt you from the rest. You will attend all of your classes or you will be cut off for the next two weeks" she said sternly.

"What about math?" I asked.

"Ugh fine, you may skip math" she sighed in exasperation.

"Thanks babe" I said, pecking her lips.

"Sup Puck" Karofsky said, breaking me out of my happy bubble.

"Sup" I nodded as I wrapped my arm around Rachel.

"What're doing with the freak?" he asked.

"What's it look like?" I asked, kissing Rachel's temple.

"Wait a minute, hold up. You're fucking the star of homo explosion?" he asked in disgust.

"Yea, what's it to you?" I asked, pulling Rachel tighter against me.

"She any good?" he laughed.

"Fuck you man" I spat as I shoved him into a locker. "It's none of your damn business".

"Oh okay, I get it. Puck's protective of his whores" he snickered.

Before I could think, I slammed my fist into his jaw. "For your information fucktard, I'm dating her. She's not a whore and definitely not a freak so lay off with that shit" I snarled.

"Sorry man" he said backing up. "I didn't realize she was that important to you" he said, walking towards Rachel. "You must be one incredible lay" he whispered in her ear as he rubbed her lower back.

Seeing someone with their hands on my girl, on the person that I love made something snap inside me. One minute I was seeing tears streaming down Rachel's face and the next I was seeing red as I tackled Karofsky. I threw him to the ground before straddling him and grabbing his collar.

"If you ever lay your hands on my fucking girlfriend again, you're a dead man Karofsky" I yelled.

"Noah" she whispered as she touched my arm.

I don't know what she did or how she did it, but one touch from her and I was completely calm. I threw Karofsky against the floor before standing up and wrapping Rachel into my arms.

"Come on babe, let's get to class" I said, kissing her head while pushing through the massive amounts of kids that had gathered in the hall.

**Rachel P.O.V.**

I stood there in awe as Noah defended me against Karofsky. Never in my life has someone ever stood up for me and made me feel like I was worth something. When I was younger and my dads actually loved me, they had supported me but never defended me. Whenever I was cheated out of an award or a competition, they always just told me to work harder, never that I was good the way I was nor did they even care if I gave it my all.

"Noah" I said lightly, trying not to startle him. He already had Karofsky by a death grip and I didn't want him to hurt him any farther. I watched as his tense muscles rippled under my touch and how the anger flashed in his eyes, turning them a dark green color before he relaxed and they returned back to his stunning hazel.

"Come on babe, let's go to class" he said, kissing me gently before leading me to our homeroom.

He dragged me to the empty desk in the back with his name on it. The desk was dusty from lack of use, but he plopped down in it pulling me down onto his lap anyway. I watched as he dug out his physics homework from last night and worked through the problems with ease.

"You're good at physics too?" I asked, watching as he solved the complicated problems.

"It's easy shit babe, it's just some trigonometry and a few shapes" he smiled.

"C-can you help me with that too?" I asked. Never had I ever ask anyone for help and asking my boyfriend who never attended class for help seemed redundant.

"Sure babe, now sit still you're making it incredibly hard for me to concentrate" he smirked and thrusted his hips up gently, rubbing his erection against my center. I swallowed the moan that threatened to spill from my lips and buried my face in his neck to hide the blush that was spreading.

I felt the heat pooling between my legs and I remembered the events that had taken place earlier that morning. Never had I let someone touch me like that or even see me in my underwear. I thought I would be nervous and unsure, but Noah made me feel beautiful and confident. He was gentle and caring and every one of his touches made my heart pound.

I couldn't believe that I had let him do that to me after only dating for a day, but something about it felt so right. Being with him brought out feelings that I've never experienced the strongest being perfection. I loved the way he looked at me and how he made sure I was taken care of before even letting me touch him. I loved how he turned his back on his friends for me and how he was so sure that we'd be together forever. I wanted Noah to come to New York with me because I enjoyed being around him. I was starting to trust him and I would give anything to not be alone anymore. I could see a future with Noah, he could become an architect or something and I would be on broadway as planned. We would live together and get married. We would have kids after I've won my Tony's and I could become a stay at home mom.

I could see my future written out and all of it included him. I know it was foolish to think like this because it may never happen, but I wanted it. I wanted to be loved and to be able to love again and I wanted it with Noah.

"Noah, can you do something for me?" I asked, batting my eyes at him.

"Anything" he said, shoving his homework in his bag.

"Can you promise me that you'll take your schoolwork a little more seriously" I asked. "If we decide that after these two weeks that we want to continue this and we date through the summer, I'd really like you to come to New York with me".

"I told you I was already going whether you wanted me to or not. I'm not giving up on us Rach, I love you way too much" he said quietly.

"So you'll promise me?" I asked again.

"Ugh, fine but the only way I'm doing my homework is if you're around. How about you come over after school, my Ma will make us dinner and we can tell her we're dating?" he asked, planting kisses all over my neck.

I watched as Quinn and Santana stared me down from the front of the room. They were always out for me, regardless of what I did and dating someone who they had both slept with was one way to get on their bad side.

"I can't Noah, you have football and I have glee club" I said, standing up as the bell rang.

"After" he said, "Besides I'm the one driving. I could always kidnap you" he whispered.

"I have vocal lessons after glee Noah, I can't just skip them my fathers paid a lot of money for them" I lied. I found it harder to lie to him after this morning. He had been nothing but honest with me and here I was feeding him lie after lie.

"Well how about after that, I'll sneak through your window and we can work together. I promise I'll be quiet, your dads won't even know I'm there" he begged.

"Fine" I grumbled. "Vocal lessons finish around 8:00. I'll need time to take a shower and get ready for bed, so be at my house by 9:00" I said.

"Okay, but you're eventually coming over for dinner. Ma's gonna flip her shit when she finds out about us" he smiled.

He grabbed my hand and wrapped his arm around me as we walked down the hall to our first class. I passed the students in the hall and noticed how their eyes widened before they turned to their friends and began whispering about us. The nervous feeling I got when I saw Karofsky came back full force when Santana and Quinn stood in front of me with two orange slushies.

"Morning Satan, Ice Queen" Noah nodded as he pushed past them.

"So you're hooking up with the hobbit?" Santana asked in a menacing tone.

"What's it to you?" he asked.

"That's disgusting" Quinn said, wrinkling her face in disgust. "Why would you want to sleep with RuPual?".

Before Noah could defend me again, I spoke up. It was one thing to protect me from football players, but I could handle cheerleaders. I squeezed Noah's hand as hard as I could and summoned up all my courage before addressing them.

"Not that it's any of your business ladies, but Noah and I are dating. I'm sorry if you are jealous, but feel free to stare and admire us like everyone else" I said before walking away, dragging Noah along behind me.

"Babe, that was fucking hot" he said, kissing me sloppily.

"Well it's like you said, 'We a couple of good looking Jews' right?" I asked as he nodded. "Well then they should get used to seeing us together".

"You're amazing" he said, kissing me gently before dropping me off at my first class.

Instead of paying attention to the French and Indian War, I tried to figure out how I was going to get to the JCC for my lessons, clean the studio, and be showered and back home before 9. Noah, would have to be out before 10:30 way I'd be on time for my shift at Joe's.

After history, I headed to the library where I was supposed to meet Noah for study hall. I sat down at a computer and began to look up schools in New York for Noah to attend. If we were serious about this whole relationship thing and he did want to follow me, he'd need to start applying for schools. I figured he had decent enough grades to get into NYU and they had an excellent engineering program, which he would be good at since math was so easy for him.

I was just printing out the last bit on information when a pair of muscular arms wrapped around me.

"Hey babe" he whispered, placing a hot kiss on the back of my neck.

"Hello Noah, how is your day going?" I asked politely.

"Great now that I'm with you" he said.

"How was class?" I asked as he pressed his lips against mine.

"Eh" he shrugged.

"Noah, you promised to take your education more seriously" I said.

"I know, here" he said, grabbing a brand new notebook out of his bag. "Open it" he said, placing it in my hands.

"You took notes? You actually bought a notebook? I'm so proud of you!" I said, wrapping my arms around him.

"S'no big deal babe, I wanna do better for you and for my Ma so I threatened Jewfro and he went out and bought me a notebook. I gotta say, class was actually kinda interesting. I like history, you get to learn about wars and people killing each other and shit" he smiled.

"This is good, you could be a historian!" I exclaimed.

"Whoa, chill out babe. Let's not get ahead of ourselves, I barely stayed awake" he said.

"But you did right? You paid attention and everything?" I asked in excitement.

"Yea, I did doze off towards the end, but I was totally listening" he nodded.

"Good boy" I said, patting his chest.

"So, do I get a reward? he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"We'll see" I said.

"How about tonight?" he asked.

"Noah" I said, warning him not to push his luck.

"Fine, fine" he said, kissing my forehead.

After about an hour of working through calculus problems, I felt like bashing my head against the wall.

"I just don't understand" I sighed.

"It's a derivative Rach, it's not easy" he said, rubbing my arms.

"I know, but I really need to get this I've got to pass that test" I said.

"What test?".

"So I can graduate this year" I said.

"Why're you doing that?" he asked.

"Because I have to get out of here Noah, I need to go. I can't stand it here anymore Noah, I have all of my credits and my broadway career will benefit greatly if I start younger" I said.

The truth was that I was tired. I was so tired of being alone. I tired of being terrified that I'll get mugged on the way to work and sleeping alone. I'm sick of working my ass off so I can eat and pay for a house that I don't even want to live in. I'm tired of fighting everyone just to prove that I'm something and not the freak that they say I am. I'm tired of defending the fathers that don't give a shit about me.

"I'm so tired of it Noah, I'm done" I whispered.

"Hey, it's okay" he said, noticing the tears that had spilled down my face. "Talk to me Rach".

"I'm tired of being alone" I murmured.

"Babe, you're not alone. I'm here, you've got me and my Ma and even Sarah, god know she loves you just as much as I do" he laughed as he folded me into his lap.

"Promise me you won't leave Noah. I can't take anymore" I cried.

"Never" he whispered as he pressed a kiss against my wet cheek.

"Thanks for being so patient with me" I said, fisting my hands in his shirt.

"It's the least I can do babe, I owe you so much".

"For what?" I sniffled.

"For the slushies, the bullying, the hand-job" he smirked. "But most of all for abandoning you. If I could do it all again I would, I screwed up so badly that day when I didn't go after you and I've regretted it ever since. Please forgive me Rachel, I love you so much" he said, his hazel eyes boring into mine.

"I do Noah, I forgive you. Hearing you say that means the world to me, I love you too" I whispered.

"You do?" he asked with unshed tears in his eyes. I know this moment was rare because he had to keep up with his 'bad-boy' persona, but seeing him this vulnerable proved that I can trust him. His honesty was the deal breaker and I knew I loved him more than he'd ever know.

"I've always loved you Noah, but I couldn't trust you" I said, rubbing his cheek softly.

"You trust me now?" he asked, grabbing my hands.

"I do" I smiled. "I trust you and I love you".

"Fuck baby, this is great. I promise I'll treat you right and I'll try my hardest not to be a total asshole. Thank you Rachel" he said, tracing circles on my palms.

"S'no problem babe" I said, mocking him.

"Hot, funny, and smart. How did I manage to get a girl like you on my arm?" he asked.

"You're honest with me" I said softly.

"Look Rachel, I'll be here for you I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here if you wanna talk or even if you just need to cry, just call me".

"You're amazing" I said, burying my face in his chest.

We sat in the back of the library, holding each other until Noah spoke again.

"So now that we're in love and shit, do you think we can forget about that 2 week deal?" he asked, playing with my fingers.

"Yea, I guess" I sighed, leaning my head against his warm body.

"Great, I can't wait to see my Ma loose her shit when she finds out we're dating" he laughed.

"But, we're waiting at least two weeks to have sex" I said, grabbing my books.

"Wait what? We can have sex in two weeks?" he asked with his mouth open. "I mean, I don't want to pressure you or anything and I'm not in this for sex you know that right?" he asked, searching my eyes for hesitance as I nodded. "Seriously Rach, we can wait I'm in no hurry. We can even wait until we get married, you want that right? I guess I better get a ring then" he whispered. "You know I love you, I'll wait baby. And when you do think you're ready, you'll have to give me a heads up. I know you said you weren't into all that romantic shit, but every girl deserves their first time to be special and I'll be gentle I promise" he said.

"Shut up" I laughed as I kissed him soundly. "You're kinda cute when you ramble".

"M'not cute, I'mma stud" he murmured against my lips.

"Okay stud" I said, "we're still waiting at least two weeks".

"So, I should start planning now? Are you sure about this babe, don't do it because of me" he said.

"Contrary to popular belief, I'm not a total prude and while I'd like to wait until marriage I know that's not likely to happen. I went on the pill a few days ago, so we need to wait a while for it to take effect. I want us to be together and not have to worry about anything between us" I said, turning to leave.

"Wait, are saying what I think you're saying?" he asked, grabbing my arm.

"I'm ready to be intimate with you, but I want to be prepared as well" I said.

"So, you're telling me that I can go bareback?" he asked in shocked.

"Yes Noah, I want this to be special just us" I repeated.

"Fuck, no condoms? God I fucking love you" he said, squeezing me against him. "I've never ever done it before without one, you are fucking amazing" he said, kissing me sloppily.

"Easy Noah, we have to get to class" I said, pushing him back.

"Baby, I am gonna rock your world" he said, as we joined hands and walked down the hall.


	6. The Edge of Truth

**Author's note: Sorry for taking so long to update, please don't hate me! Thanks everyone for reviewing, it really means a lot to me! I'm trying to update faster, but I'm writing four stories at once and it's not as easy as I thought it would be.**

**Special thanks: To my beta jupiter01, you rock girly!**

**Happy reading and please review! :D**

* * *

><p><strong>Rachel P.O.V.<strong>

After our talk in the library, Noah dropped me off at glee with a kiss on my lips and a smack on the ass. I giggled and blushed lightly as I made my way into the choir room. Ever since Mr. Shue overtook the glee club we've been doing better, that was until he started with that stupid 'Acafellas' group. Now the six of us were on our own, but I had faith that my superior skills could take us to the top.

"Alright guys let's warm up, I've been scrolling through my repertoire and I've come up with the perfect musical number for us to perform at the assembly next week" I said excitedly.

Glee club was always my favorite part of the day because I got to express myself, release my anger, and be appreciated for my talent. No one judged me and although I didn't particularly feel welcomed, I felt accepted and that's what mattered the most. When I was with the glee club I didn't think about how tired I was from working. I didn't even once let my thoughts drift to my dads, and I never thought of the empty house waiting for me. Instead I remembered the happy times when they would watch my dance lessons and cheer me on at vocal recitals. I never felt the need to defend myself in glee and I was never picked on. Insulted yes, but never bullied. Although none of us were exactly friends, except for Kurt and Mercedes, we got along and we supported each other and support was what I needed the most.

I was just about to lead us in a rendition of 'Season of Love' when Mr. Shue entered the room, followed by the unholy trinity, Brittany, Santana pinkies linked, and Quinn with her HBIC look.

"What are they doing here?" I asked in anger, as Santana filed her nails.

"Everyone, meet the newest members of our glee club" Mr. Shue said, pushing the bored looking Cheerios forward.

"Are you serious?"

"This has got to be some cruel joke right?"

"Mr. Shuester, if I may?" I said, standing up. "I think I speak for everyone when I say that we don't want them here" I said looking around at everyone's nodding head.

"I thought anyone can join glee" Finn said stupidly.

"Yea, anyone except them" Mercedes snapped.

"Oh come on guys where is your team spirit? We need eleven members to get to sectionals and we only have six. Here we have three willing members who are excited to join our club and we just shut them out? I don't think so; I'm highly disappointed in you guys. You're supposed to be role models for the rest of the students at McKinley. Rachel, weren't you the one who said that being a part of something special made you special as well?" he asked impatiently.

"Yea, but this is a completely different situation it doesn't apply here" I said.

"She's right Mr. Shue, the unholy trinity is the reason more people won't and are afraid to join the glee club in the first place" Kurt said.

"Why should we trust the people that give us daily slushy facials?" Artie asked.

"Look, we don't have time for this" Quinn said, making her way in front of us. "You should be thankful we're even in the same room as you all, let alone joining your pathetic excuse for a club".

"Right because the celibacy club is so much better" Kurt snickered, but was immediately shut up by Quinn's glare that everybody at McKinley had feared, student and teacher alike since freshmen year.

"You don't want us here, too bad" Santana snapped. "You don't own the school, we do and if we wants in the glee club then we gets in the glee club understand?" she asked with her hands on her hips.

"I-I-I-I-I t-t-t-think m-m-m-my w-w-w-w-worst n-n-n-nightmare j-j-j-j-just c-c-c-c-c-came t-t-t-t-true" Tina whimpered as they took the empty seats in the back of the room.

"Ok Guys let's begin" Mr. Shue said, walking up to the chalkboard. "We can pick up where we left off, with Journey" he said excitedly.

"You mean right before you abandoned us?" I asked.

"I never abandoned you guys, I just took a little time off" he said.

"Yea right" Mercedes rolled her eyes. "You disappeared for like a month, just admit it, you think we're losers just like everyone else at this school".

"No, no guys that's not true" he said.

"I'm sorry Mr. Shue, I really thought that this glee club could be something great, but inviting our worst enemies to join when they probably have some other type of ulterior motive is incredibly foolish. I can't sit around and pretend to be okay with this. I know people don't like me and I'm okay with that, but glee club was the one place where I actually felt accepted and by letting the people that work so hard to put me down join, you've destroyed any hope that I had in this group. I'm sorry, but I no longer wish to be a part of glee" I said, gathering my books and walking out of the room.

I didn't even have the door halfway open before the insults started.

"God she's such a drama queen." Quinn said.

"Well at least that's one less loser we have to deal with." Santana said.

"She's so selfish, we need her voice if we're going to get anywhere" Kurt said.

I held back the tears stinging in my eyes as I walked down the hall. I thought about going to the auditorium and letting out my anger, but I stopped when I passed the football players running the field. I didn't really care that Finn had given football up to join glee, something told me he was only doing it because he fell for some stupid bribe or got himself in a situation and was too dumb to get himself out.

I found myself wandering outside aimlessly towards the bleachers watching Noah tackle his teammates. I didn't have the slightest clue as to what attracted people to football, but I had a feeling it had something to do with anger. Only someone with an insane amount of anger could tackle their teammate and not even worry about hurting them. I watched them play a scrimmage game and felt the anger slowly leave my body until there was nothing left. I smiled as I watched Noah take of his helmet and run his hand through his Mohawk. No matter how ridiculous I thought it was, I found it quite sexy on him.

I found myself staring at him as he jogged over to the table, stripped off his shirt, and began pouring water over his chiseled abs. Never had I seen something so stunning and for a moment I forgot that he was mine. My mouth started to water as I stared and I subconsciously began squeezing my legs together to help release some of the pressure that had been building up. Noah Puckerman was a living Adonis and out of all the girls, he choose me, I was his Aphrodite. All thoughts of the glee club vanished and were replaced with Noah.

I was so wrapped up in my fantasies that I didn't even notice he was standing in front of me until his lips pressed against mine and I inhaled his manly scent.

"Hey babe" he said, wedging himself between my legs.

"Hello Noah" I smiled dreamily.

"Aren't you supposed to be in glee?" he asked confused.

"No, I quit" I said simply before running my hands over his sweaty back as he groaned and attached his lips to my shoulder.

Usually I found sweaty boys disgusting and stinky, but Noah was different. Sweat covered his body which shined in the sun and showed off every rippling muscle he had and he smelled like fresh cut grass, cinnamon, and something that was just purely Noah.

"Wait, what do you mean 'you quit'? I though glee was your whole world or some shit like that" he said, pulling away causing me to moan at the loss of contact.

"It was and it was fun while it lasted, but I've found something better that I'd rather do" I smiled.

"And that is?" he asked, tracing circles on my knees and up my thighs.

"Watching you play football" I shivered.

"Sure, you mean to tell me that you'd rather sit here in the heat and watch me tackle other guys than sing your precious Broadway songs with the gleeks" he said with a raised eyebrow.

"Uh huh" I moaned when his fingers slid under my skirt.

"Babe, do you even know what football's about?" he asked, moving to sit behind me.

"Um…." I nodded, not being able to form words as he sucked on my neck.

"Really?" he smirked.

"Yes Noah, my dads and I used to watch football all the time" I said angrily, why was he asking these questions instead of taking making out with me?

"You mean your dads watch football while you read about Barbra Streisand or whatever Broadway person you like" he laughed, his lips pressed against my neck sending vibrations through my body.

"Why can't you just be happy that I'm supporting you? I'll be there for every goal you make!" I said excitedly.

"Touchdown babe Touchdown" he laughed while shacking his head.

"Yes that too" I said, turning around to kiss him.

"We make touchdowns Rach, not goals" he said, pulling me onto his lap. "Tell me why you quit the glee club" he whispered, gently stroking my sides.

"Quinn and Santana joined" I said softly, feeling the tears return.

"Oh" he said quietly.

"I feel like they're taking away the only thing that made me happy" I said as he nodded.

"I'm really sorry babe" he said as his muscular arms pulled me against him tightly.

"It's okay, I've found something better to do with my extra time" I said happily. Now that I wasn't in glee, I'd be able to take a nap or maybe write some songs, something I've always wanted to do. I'd also have some extra time to do my homework and study for my test.

"No, it's not okay Rach. You love singing and glee club is your thing, how can you just let some dumb cheerios walk in and take that from you?" he asked, turning my head to face him.

"I'm tired Noah" I whispered, refusing to look into his eyes filled with concern. "I'm tired of fighting".

"This is bullshit babe, since when does Rachel Berry not fight for what she wants?" he asked.

_Since they left me _I thought dejectedly. _Since I've been left alone with no one to love me._

"It doesn't matter anymore Noah, I don't want to talk about it. I'm moving on, I wasn't able to showcase my talent properly anyway. Mr. Shuester was always holding me back and gave Kurt and Mercedes my solos. I need to be able to spread my wings and excel beyond the average person if I'm going to be successful on Broadway" I said confidently.

"Whatever Rach, I don't believe you and all, and I think you're making a huge mistake, but for now I'll buy it" he said, grabbing my hand and picking up my bag.

"Thank you" I said softly.

"For what?" he asked, leading us towards his car.

"For supporting my decision"

"I'll always support you Rach, no matter what I'll be there for you" he smiled, kissing my cheek.

"I love you"

"I love you too" he said, lifting me into his truck.

We drove in silence all the way to the community center.

"You gonna be okay?" he asked, squeezing my hand gently.

"Yea, I'll be fine" I said, playing with his fingers.

"I really am sorry Rach" he said, his eyes filled with so much emotion.

"Me too" I sighed before giving him one last kiss and jumping out of the truck.

I pushed opened the door and greeted my first student. The lessons weren't that bad, unless you had a problem with teaching tone deaf, snobby, rich, Jewish kids.

"Hello Amanda, how're you today?" I asked, even though I could care less. The only thing I was interested in was the money her parents were paying.

"I'm fine, I've been practicing everyday and I'm sure you'll be impressed with my talent" she said, as she began her scales.

Two and a half hours later I was shoving Amanda out the door and nursing my pounding head with a cup of coffee. I never understood why parents forced their children to do things they so clearly could not. Amanda couldn't carry a tune if her life depended on it and yet here she was, every Thursday at vocal lessons. She was signed up for every possible recital and competition and even though she never won, her parents were there in the front row, cheering her on.

I didn't understand how Amanda's parents could be there for her regardless of her lack of talent, but my dads wouldn't even show me a gesture of good faith when I had a recital or a competition. How can a snobby, obnoxious girl have so many friends when I couldn't even make one? None of it made sense and the more I thought about it, the angrier I got. I collected my things in a huff and made my way outside, only to find Noah leaning casually against his truck with a dopey grin on his face where his usual smirk sat.

"Hey babe, how was your lesson?" he asked, kissing my head, making me forget all about Amanda and her stupid parents.

"Great" I said, leaning into his arms. It amazed me how his presence seemed to calm me, just as I did for him.

"You ready for dance?" he asked, closing the door.

"Yea" I said tiredly.

"Cool, I was thinking that I'd stay and watch" he said, starting the car.

"What? No, you don't have to do that, I'm sure you have much better things to do" I said.

"Nope, I just finished cleaning my last pool ten minutes ago so I'm free for the rest of the night" he said smiling.

"It's really not necessary Noah, you should have dinner with your family" I said in a rush.

"Ma's working the night shift and Sarah's at her friends, I wanna watch my hot girlfriend shake her ass in some tight clothes" he winked.

"N-no, you can't come, it's a closed rehearsal. You wouldn't be interested anyway, it's ballet you'll probably fall asleep" I said quickly as he pulled into the parking lot.

"You sure you don't want me to come?" he asked suspiciously.

"Yes" I said, pressing my lips against his, anything to keep him from asking more questions.

"Okay, I pick you up in a hour?" he asked.

"Yea, that'd be great" I said, jumping out of the car.

"Hey wait" he said, stopping me in my tracks.

"Yes?"

"Where're all the cars? The lot is empty" he said, looking around at the dark space.

"Oh, I uh...I have a private lesson. The studio is closed, only me and the instructor are here" I lied quickly.

"M'kay, have fun" he smiled.

I turned my back and hurried away before he called out again.

"Rach wait, one more thing" he yelled out the window.

"Yes, Noah?" I asked, my heart pounding in my chest. I had worked so hard to keep this a secret from him and he was dangerously close to finding out the truth.

"Love ya" he smiled.

"I love you too" I said before unlocking the empty, dark studio.

I dropped my bag on the ground and quickly changed into my work clothes. I only had an hour to clean the mirrors, mop the floor, and sanitize the bars and mats and I needed to get home so Noah could come over before I had to go to work. I pulled out my ipod and scrolled through my playlist, smiling when I found what I was looking for. I set up the ipod on the dock, grabbed the mop and began singing and dancing to the music.

There ain't no reason you and me should be alone

Tonight, yeah baby

Tonight, yeah baby

I got a reason that you're who should take me home tonight

I need a man that thinks it's right when it's so wrong

Tonight, yeah baby

Tonight, yeah baby

Right on the limits where we know we both belong tonight

I sang loudly, letting the music take away all my pain.

It's hard to feel the rush

To push the dangerous

I'm gonna run right to, to the edge with you

Where we can both fall over in love

I'm on the edge of glory

And I'm hanging on a moment of truth

Out on the edge of glory

And I'm hanging on a moment with you

I'm on the edge

The edge

The edge

The edge

The edge

The edge

The edge

I'm on the edge of glory

And I'm hanging on a moment with you

I'm on the edge with you

I was so carried away with the music that I didn't even notice the figure looming in the darkness.

Another shot before we kiss the other side

Tonight, yeah baby

Tonight, yeah baby

I'm on the edge of something final we call life tonight

Alright, alright

Pull on your shades 'cause I'll be dancing in the flames

Tonight, yeah baby

Tonight, yeah baby

It doesn't hurt 'cause everybody knows my name tonight

Alright, alright

I had cleaned every surface of the room by this point, so I decided to have some fun instead. I began twirling the mop around my body and striking poses in the mirror, laughing at how silly I was being. At one point I would have scolded myself for wasting my time and making a joke of my talent, but right now I didn't care. I'd just lost another thing that meant a lot to me and all I wanted was to let go.

It's hard to feel the rush

To push the dangerous

I'm gonna run right to, to the edge with you

Where we can both fall over in love

I'm on the edge of glory

And I'm hanging on a moment of truth

Out on the edge of glory

And I'm hanging on a moment with you

I'm on the edge

The edge

The edge

The edge

The edge

The edge

The edge

I'm on the edge of glory

And I'm hanging on a moment with you

I'm on the edge with you

I'm on the edge with you

I'm on the edge with you

I couldn't help think of Noah as I sang this. I didn't want anyone else but him by my side when I finally did succeed. When I finally hit Broadway. I would hang on every moment we shared together until we got there and I didn't want it any other way.

I'm on the edge of glory

And I'm hanging on a moment of truth

Out on the edge of glory

And I'm hanging on a moment with you

I'm on the edge

The edge

The edge

The edge

The edge

The edge

The edge

I'm on the edge of glory

And I'm hanging on a moment with you

I'm on the edge with you

I finished the song, panting heavily as I put the cleaning supplies back in the closet. The studio looked decent, not as clean as it usually did, but it would do for tonight. I was just about to flick off the lights when I heard someone open a door.

"Hello?" I called into the empty room.

"Are you the one who cleans my studio?" said a woman with frizzy red hair.

"Y-yes ma'am" I said, looking down.

I've never actually met the woman who owned the studio, my old instructor was the one who had gotten me the job so I'd never even seen her but I had heard stories. Apparently she was an older woman who used to be a prima ballerina, but she was injured and forced to quit. Now she owned a studio and hired instructors to teach for her because she can't be around dancers without feeling bad, but she wants to stay involved with her past life.

"Well, you didn't do a very good job" she said, looking around and wiping up some dust I had missed.

"I'm sorry ma'am, usually I do a better job, but I'm in a bit of a rush today. Please don't fire me, I can come in early tomorrow morning and re-do it if you like" I begged.

"No need, it'll be fine for one day" she said, standing up straighter.

"T-thank you" I said, heading towards the door.

"One more thing" she said, examining herself in the mirror.

"Yes?" I asked quietly.

"Don't let your talent go to waste. You've got a gift, you should embrace it and not make fun of it. Enjoy it while it lasts, you'll miss it when it's gone" she sighed.

"Yes ma'am" I said before ducking out the door and running to Noah's truck.

I closed the door, buckled my seatbelt, gave Noah a kiss, and listened to him talk about football and how he was going to apply for some trade school in New York as a back-up for NYU. I was happy he was taking school seriously, but my focus was on the mysterious woman who owns the studio and why she was staring at me like that.

"Babe...Rach...Hello, earth to Rachel" he said, waving his arm in front of my face.

"Huh? Oh I'm sorry Noah what were you saying?" I asked, shaking my head.

"We're here" he said, gesturing towards my empty house.

"Oh" I sighed, grabbing my bag.

"So I'll meet you in your room in like ten minutes okay" he said, sliding his hand up my shirt.

"Yea, I guess" I said.

"I'd walk you to the door, but I don't think your dads would like it if they knew I had you out this late" he smiled.

"I guess not" I shrugged.

"Cool, just make sure there in bed first and leave your window open" he said, kissing me one last time before parking his truck down the street.

I walked up the front steps not wanting to look anywhere around the house. To the left of me were weeds but it looked like grass because I didn't have the time or the money to keep it up and to my right was an empty driveway. I signed and continued on my way into the dark deserted house. I unlocked the door, dumped my bag at the bottom of the stairs, and climbed up to my room before falling onto my bed with thud. I felt my eyes sting with unshed tears and I buried my face in my pillow to keep from crying. How long could I lie to him? Noah has been nothing but honest with me and here I am making him climb through my window because he believed my dads were home. I almost laughed at the situation, was this how it was for normal girls my age? Did they have to sneak their boyfriends in because their parents were home? If I were honest with him, he'd be able to walk through the front door but I couldn't be. Telling Noah about my situation would upset him and he seems so happy. I didn't want anyone to know, I couldn't have anyone know, I didn't need to give anyone another excuse to pick on me and being the girl whose father left her would just add fuel to the fire.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and smiled at Noah's text.

**[Noah] is it safe yet?**

**[Rachel] yes, you can come up now**

**[Noah] c u in a minute**

**[Rachel] :D**

**[Noah] it'd b great if u'd b naked when I came up ; )**

**[Rachel] you're pushing it**

**[Noah] can't blame a guy 4 tryin**

I laid back and waited until he tumbled through my window.

"Hey good-looking " he winked, as he laid down next to me.

"Hi" I smiled back.

"You can't stay very long, you know that right" I said.

"Yea I know" he said, pressing his lips against mine.

"I'm serious Noah" I said, as his tongue swiped across my bottom lip, asking for entrance which I eagerly granted.

"I heard you" he moaned, as I gently bit down on his tongue, pulling at the hem of his shirt.

"I thought we were supposed to..ugh..do our h-homework" I moaned as he took off his shit and rolled us over so I was straddling him.

"Seriously, you'd rather do homework than make-out?" he asked, trailing open-mouthed kissed down my neck.

"N-no, but it's the scholarly thing to do" I panted as he rocked his hips into my core, pressing his erection against my clit.

"Shit baby, you're really thinking about school right now?" he grunted, rocking his hips faster against my core.

"N-no….I just…..mmhmm…. so good….I want to do what's right" I gasped as he grabbed my breasts in his large hands and kneaded them roughly.

"This is what you want babe" he said, grabbing my hips and moving them in a circular motion, the bulge in his jeans hitting all the right spots. "Ride me Rachel" he whispered before nibbling on my ear.

"Noah I think I'm going to…oh god" I yelled, throwing my head back as he clamped his hand over my mouth. I scraped my nails frantically up and down his abs, settling them on his muscular chest.

"Fuck babe, as sexy as it is hearing you scream my name you've got to be quiet. You're dads can come in at any moment" he said, as his pace quickened.

"M-my room is soundproof" I managed to squeak out when he bit down on the juncture between my neck and shoulder.

"Fuck Rach, I'm so close" he groaned, his fingers digging into my sides.

"M-me too"

"I love you Rachel" he panted, his movements become erratic.

"I love you too" I yelled as my orgasm ripped through me.

I continued rocking my hips against his as I rode wave after wave of pleasure. After a while I felt my body stiffen before turning to jelly and I collapsed against his chest.

"Mmm...that was amazing" I sighed.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck" he moaned in response, his body rigid and his heart pounding beneath me.

"What's wrong?" I asked, noticing his sweaty forehead and scrunched face.

"I'm about to come Rach" he whined pathetically.

"So?" I asked playfully, grinding against him.

"Shit, stop" he said, grabbing my thighs as he took deep breaths.

"Why?" I pouted.

"Because I'm not about to come in my pants like some pussy" he said through a strangled moan.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry" I said, moving off him.

I sat back on his squirming legs and unzipped his pants, pulling them down far enough for his erection to spring free. I immediately grabbed the thickness in my hands and began stroking him firmly as he thrust into my palm.

"Oh god Rachel" he whispered as his eyes rolled in the back of his head.

I felt a surge of pride wash over me at making the self proclaimed 'badass' speechless and having McKinley's very own 'sex god' moaning my name.

I twisted my hand over his bulbous head and watched in amazement as hot ropes of come shot out and splatted across my chest. At first I was digested by his semen, but seeing the look of pure bliss and pleasure etched across his face spiked something in me that felt almost animalistic. I continued stroking him gently as he softened in my hand and when he came down from his high I laid on top of him, snuggling into his warm chest.

"Did I ever tell you how fucking amazing you are?" he said exhaustedly, as his fingers ran through my hair.

"No" I giggled.

"Cause that was the sexist fucking thing I've ever seen" he growled.

"Hmm" I sighed, burying my head in his neck, placing my hand over his heart.

"I love you" he said, kissing the corner of my mouth.

"I love you too" I said, placing a kiss on his adam's apple.

"I wish we could stay like this forever" he sighed, tracing shaped on my back.

"Me too" I sighed.

We laid there for what felt like hours until I sat up in a panic, realizing that I had to be at work in a half hour.

"What's up Rach, what're you doing?" he asked in confusion, watching as I scampered across the room.

"You have to go" I said in a hurry, tossing him his shirt.

"What?….Why?" he asked. "Can't I just spend the night? I'll be gone in the morning" he said, rolling over.

"No!" I yelled. "You need to leave Noah" I said, opening the window and dragging him out of bed.

"Usually I'm in a hurry to leave a chick's bed and now I can't stay even if I wanted to" he mumbled as he pulled his shirt over his head.

"I'm sorry Noah, I really am" I said, pushing him out the window.

"Can I stay over tomorrow?" he asked hopefully.

"No!"

"Saturday?" he begged.

"Noah!" I huffed as I tried to push him out.

"Come on babe, I wanna snuggle" he pouted.

"Noah, if you don't leave right this instant" I said, stomping my foot.

"You'll what?" he smirked. "I know it's a total pussy thing to say, but I just wanna hold you Rach" he said moving towards me with a playful pout on his face.

"Fine, I'll play your game" I said in annoyance. "If you leave now, I'll give you a little something extra next time we're together".

"Like what?" he asked, leaning into me.

"A blow-job" I whispered seductively in his ear.

"Shit Rach" he moaned, before kissing me chastely on the lips. "Say no more, I'm gone".

"I love you" I said as he jumped out of the tree.

"Love you too, I'll pick you up tomorrow morning" he said before running down the street.

As soon as he disappeared I slammed the window shut, jumped in the shower mostly because I was covered in bodily fluids, and grabbed an outfit from my 'special drawer'. I tried to avoid purchasing clothes for work because it cost money that I didn't have. If I had to buy a new outfit, I had to give up groceries for the week and I'd been doing that way too often recently. I tried to avoid the mirror at all costs because I knew I probably looked like a skeleton. I hadn't eaten anything all day, except for the orange juice that Noah had brought for me and an apple I'd stolen from the cafeteria and the only food in my refrigerator was the uneaten doughnut he'd given me. Since I had no insurance I avoided hospitals, it didn't take a genius to realize that I was underweight and unhealthy. I'd learned that the skimpier my clothes were, the more tips I got no matter how my body looked, so tonight I settled on a black studded bra with a pair of black booty shorts, my signature knee socks, and a pair of black high heels that one of the other girls had given me. I grabbed a long coat to hide my outfit or lack there of, and ran to the bus stop hoping that I wouldn't be late.

The ride to Joe's was a little over twenty minutes, considering the fact that it was outside of Lima. I paid the driver and ran in through the backdoor, swiping my card through the time clock with 2 minutes to spare.

"You're late Roxie" Joe said as I hung up my coat.

"Sorry" I mumbled as I grabbed a tray and went about my business.

Halfway through my shift I noticed something out of the ordinary. Instead of the seven bald-headed men that usually sat up front, there were eight.

"How can I help you?" I asked the stranger who stared me up and down.

"You can tell me your name" he said in a thick accent that I couldn't exactly place.

The man was older, but not as old as the others. He had a full head of jet black hair, streaked with a few grays. He was wearing a business suit and his shoes were Italian leather, the expensive kind.

"Ray….uh Roxanne, but you can call me Roxie" I said, leaning across the bar with a smile.

"You're a very pretty girl Roxanne" he smiled, rolling the 'R'.

"Why thank you" I said, pushing my chest out, noticing how his eyes widened slightly. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"No, no. Nothing to drink, I'd just like your company if that's okay?" he asked, his eyes making their way up my legs.

"Well, my shift ends in an hour" I said, running my fingers over his collar. "Maybe we can talk then?".

"That would be lovely" he smiled.

I had no idea who this guy was and he creeped me out to no end, but he had money and if I flirted with him a little I might be able to get a good tip. I continued making my rounds, greeting the normal customers, fixing their drinks, and smiling as they handed me the tips. By the time my shift was over, the bar had mostly cleared out, only a few bikers were left playing pool in a corner. I made my way to the back to take off my shoes which were causing my feet to bleed and count the money I had made when I was stopped.

"Roxanne" he said, grabbing my wrist tightly.

"Yes" I said, trying not to roll my eyes at how he fingers trailed up my arm.

"You promised me a little chat, you didn't forget did you?" he asked.

"No" I said shaking my head. "Let me check with my boss alright, see if I can stay a few extra hours".

I really didn't like the way this guy was looking at me and I really just wanted to go home, but the huge wad of cash I could see sticking out of his expensive wallet had me sitting down on the stool next to him.

"Tell me about yourself, how old are you?" he asked, setting his hand on my thigh.

I felt the shivers race through my body and it wasn't the good kind, more like the kind that tells you to get the hell outta there. I swallowed my fear and looked him dead in his icy blue eyes. "Nineteen" I answered; I knew he wouldn't buy anything older than that so I played it safe. "But I'm sure you don't want to hear about me, I'd much rather talk about you" I smiled, playing with his tie.

"Okay, where do I begin?" he laughed before beginning a long conversation about himself and how he ended up in Ohio. I wasn't paying attention much, I was much to focused on the hand that was making it's way up my leg and occasionally squeezing my thigh and trying not to give in to the sleep that I so desperately needed. By the end of the conversation I had learned that his name was James and that he owned a chain of golf courses and I had earned two extra hours of overtime.

"It was nice talking to you James, but I really must be going now" I said, standing up on my aching legs.

"So soon" he pouted, it was close to 2:30 and I had to be up at 5:00 if I wanted to get my homework done and be on time for school.

"I'm sorry, I've got another job in the morning a girl's gotta eat" I shrugged, closing up the bar.

"I think I've got something that will help out with that" he said, pulling his wallet out of his pocket.

"Oh really" I said, leaning forward so my face was inches away from his.

He was not an ugly man, but he wasn't necessarily attractive either. His breath smelled like alcohol and he was obviously drunk by the way his speech was slurred.

"All I need is one simple thing first" he said, pulling out a fifty dollar bill.

"And what's that?" I asked, as he pulled out two more.

"You're phone number and not a fake one either. I enjoyed talking to you Roxanne, someone with both beauty and brains is hard to come by these days" he said, producing another bill.

Alarm bells immediately went off in my head and a part of me told me to get the hell out of there, but the other part of me, the part that was starving and needed to pay the electricity told me to go for it, I could always block his number.

"I think I can manage that" I smiled, writing down my number on a napkin.

"This isn't a fake right?" he asked, placing one more bill on the table, a total of three hundred dollars, something I'd be lucky to make in a few weeks let alone a day.

"Call it and see" I said, reaching for the money.

"Ah, ah, ah" he said, slapping his hand over mine.

My eyes widened as he reached into the pocket of his jacket, but relaxed when he pulled out his phone and dialed my number.

"See" I said, pulling my hand back and grabbing my ringing phone out of my back pocket. "It's real".

"Very well then, you have a pleasant evening Miss Roxanne" he said, folding up the bills and placing them in the space between my breasts.

"Y-you too James" I gulped as his fingers brushed over my chest.

As soon as he left, I dug the money out of my bra, did a quick cleaning, punched out, and made it just in time to catch the last bus home. I smiled as I leaned my head against the window. Three hundred dollars would go a long way for this month's bills, I might even be able to save some and add it to my school savings. I unwrapped the now stale doughnut I had in my coat pocket and began munching happily, today didn't turn out so bad after all.

**Noah P.O.V.**

I woke up the next morning in a great mood. My dreams were filled with thoughts of Rach and I doing all that shit that couples usually do like prom and carnivals. Of course there was an insane amount of sex in-between, but what did you expect from a stud like me? I got dressed and spent a little extra time in the shower, I wanted to smell good for my girl. I grabbed my bag, kissed Ma goodbye, messed with Sarah, and drove off towards Rachel's house, stopping at the bakery to get us some breakfast first.

"Morning babe" I said as she throw open the door, wearing a big bright smile across her face.

"Hello Noah, did you sleep well last night?" she asked brightly.

"Yea, would've been better if I was next to you though" I said, placing a kiss on her gloss covered lips.

"Maybe you can stay over this weekend?" she asked, pulling out last night's homework.

"Hell yea, you promised me a little something remember" I said, rubbing my hardening cock against her back. Just thinking about her going down on me got me hard.

"Yes, I remember" she said, grinding back against me.

"Fucking tease" I groaned, stilling her movements with my hands.

"Did you bring me breakfast?" she asked excitedly.

"Course I did" I smiled. "They were outta doughnuts so I got you a sandwich instead, we can split it since it's kinda big" I said, getting two plates.

By the time I got the juice poured and the plates out, Rachel had eaten two-thirds of the breakfast sandwich.

"Holy shit Rach, slow down" I laughed as she scarfed down the food.

"I'm sorry Noah" she said quickly, as fear flashed quickly through her eyes. "I was up late last night and I forgot to eat dinner, here you can have the rest" she said, handing me the half-eaten bagel.

"Relax babe, I'm just messing with you" I said, not liking the way she was acting. "I got two, I just figured you wouldn't eat a whole one by yourself since it's big and you're kinda, ya know tiny" I shrugged.

"Oh" she giggled, but it sounded forced, almost as if she were relieved. "I thought you were mad for a minute" she smiled before she continued to eat.

I watched as she hummed happily while simultaneously doing her homework and finishing her breakfast. Something about her didn't seem quite right, but the smile on her face said otherwise so I decided to ignore it and enjoy our Friday together.

"You ready to go?" I asked, cleaning up the food.

"Yes" she said, eyeing the piece of food I hadn't eaten.

"Do you want this?" I asked, waving in front of her face, watching as her eyes followed it back and forth.

"C-can you put it in the refrigerator, I'll eat it after dance" she said nervously, watching closely as I wrapped it up and placed it in the empty fridge.

"Now are you ready?" I asked as I wrapped herself in my arms, hugging me tightly.

"Yes, let's go" she said, her smile so wide it looked like it hurt.

When we got to school, I tucked her small body under my arm and made my way through the busy halls, scowling at all the people who stared. You would think they'd get used to the idea of Rachel and me, but it seemed like they couldn't stop whispering about us. I decided to ignore them and walk my girl to class and continue my day.

I had just dropped Rachel off in her third period class when Jewfro of all people approached me.

"You've got ten seconds to get the fuck outta my way before I toss you in a dumpster" I snarled.

"I don't think so" he said. "Considering the fact that your girlfriend's probably the one that cleans them" he snickered.

"What the fuck you talking about Isarel?" I asked.

"Your girlfriend is a janitor at a dance studio. She's probably so poor she'll clean just about anything for money" he laughed as he held up a picture.

I snatched the picture out of his hands and examined it closely. There was Rachel in a pair of tattered worn clothes with a mop in one hand and a rag in the other. Her hair was piled on top of her head and she looked sweaty and tired. I could tell it was taken yesterday because the strap of her pink bra was sticking out of the ripped tank top and I know for a fact that she was wearing that specific one last night.

"Where'd you get this Jewfro" I asked angrily.

"I don't reveal my sources" he said, as I snatched him up by the collar.

"You've got two seconds to tell me the truth before I pummel you and hang you by a flag post" I snapped.

"My mother owns the studio, she's been cleaning it for almost a year now" he said in a scared voice.

"You tell ANYONE about this and I'll personally make sure you never see the light of day again, you understand?" I spat.

"T-too late Puckerman, I've already posted it on my blog. Everyone knows her dirty little secret now" he laughed.

"Fucking pussy" I yelled as I dropped him to the floor and kicked him in the family jewels.

I was too angry to focus on Jacob lying on the floor curled into a ball, there was only one person I needed to see, to know the truth. I headed down the hall in a blind rage, hearing the whispers and seeing the looks of disgust from my friends. Knowing that I'm going to be the laughing stock of McKinley, being the lowest of the low. How could Rachel lie to me like that? Why did she lie? I had given my heart and soul to this girl, put everything on the line for her and she fucking lied to me? This girl has made me look like a fool. What could she possibly be hiding that would cause her to be a janitor at a fucking dance studio? Suddenly I was livid with her. I trusted her, I let myself fall in love with her and she couldn't even tell me the truth? That shit wasn't cool. If she was hiding that, then what else was she hiding? Was she fucking some other dude on the side and just pretending this whole time? It wouldn't surprise me, she was an actress after all. I beat myself up for hurting her and made myself feel like shit for treating her that way and the whole time, she was lying to me?

I stormed down the hall and shoved open the double doors to the auditorium. I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who obviously can't tell me the truth. If she didn't trust me then she didn't love me and I refused to be used. As much as it hurt, I was done with her. I felt like she had crushed my heart and shattered it into a million pieces and ripped it out of my chest. Never had I loved someone like this. Never had I ever wanted to be buy someone's side so much. Never had I confessed my feelings and been truthful before and it killed me that she took advantage of that. I loved Rachel with all my heart, my body, and my soul. My entire being ached for her when she wasn't next to me, but if she was going to lie to me then we were through.

I stomped down the aisle with my eye on my target. She was sitting on the stage, curled in a ball, with her back face the invisible audience. Her shoulders were slumped and shaking violently as sobs wracked through her tiny frame. I instantly felt like and asshole for thinking those things about her, but my throbbing heart reminded me that she wasn't so innocent.

"We need to talk" I spat as I stomped up on stage. "You wanna tell me what the fuck's going on?" I asked angrily.

Slowly she turned around, revealing her tear soaked, red blotchy face. "I-I'm s-so s-sorry Noah" she whimpered before burying her face in her hands and I felt my heart break again. Seeing the person I love in pain was absolutely _the worst_ thing that has ever happened in my entire life, but I needed to be strong for what is to come next.

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><p><strong>Author's note: The song Rachel sings is 'The Edge of Glory' by Lady Gaga, the song is amazing. Lady G can do no wrong : ).<strong>

**Please review!**


	7. Worthless

**Happy reading and please review! :D**

**Disclaimer: Do not own glee**

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><p><strong>Rachel P.O.V.<strong>

"Just tell me what's going on, Rach. Why's Jewfro have a picture of you looking like some hobo, huh?" he asked, anger and hurt laced his tone, making me cry harder.

"I'm s-sorry" I sobbed. I didn't know what to say, if I told him the truth he'd leave me just like my father's did. No one wants to be tied to a person like me. I knew I wasn't good enough to deserve him, part of me still didn't think this was real and that one day I'd wake up and he'd be gone. But I needed him and it scared me, I hadn't been happy since I was fourteen and had woken up to an empty house. I couldn't go back now, I'd finally learned what is was like to be loved again and I wasn't giving it up. "Please don't be mad at me, Noah" I begged, slowly lifting my head up to meet his eyes, instantly regretting it. His hazel eyes weren't the soft hue they usually were. They were dark and filled with tears, begging me to tell him the truth. To pretend to be the perfect girlfriend, one who wasn't broken and selfish, lying to him in order to keep him around.

"Why, Rachel? Just tell me why you lied to me?" he begged, his arms crossed tightly over his chest, showing off all of his muscles. I could see the veins sticking out from his neck and I could hear his teeth gnashing together in anger. The only time I'd ever seen him this angry was when his father had left and even then, I didn't think he looked this scary.

"I had to Noah, you didn't give me a choice" I sniffled.

"What the fuck does that mean, Rach? I've always given you a choice. I fucking love you, but obviously you don't feel the same way" he spat. "I've _never_ felt like this before Noah, the way I feel about you is so much more than I can explain. I've never told anyone that I've loved them before. Do you know how big of deal that is for someone like me?" he asked, his voice cracking.

"I do!" I practically yelled. "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in this entire world. You're my everything, Noah. Please just trust me" I begged, tempted to wrap my arms around his legs, anything to keep him from leaving me.

"How am I supposed to trust you when you clearly don't trust me? It's a two-way streak babe, you obviously don't give a fuck about me or else you wouldn't have lied. I should've known something was going on with you, you've been acting so different lately. You're not the same Berry who used to rush home on Friday nights to play scrabble with her dads or the same girl who used to bring me cookies before Temple. You've changed Rachel and I honestly don't like the person you've become," he said, running his hands through his mohawk in frustration.

At the mention of my father's, I broke down again. I knew I wasn't the same girl I used to be, but honestly how could I be? My father's had left me and taken the old Rachel with them. The one who used to put others before herself. The one who was happy and enjoyed life. Instead they left behind a girl who does what's necessary to survive and doesn't care who she hurts in the process. They left behind a selfish girl who demands solos so she can make it to New York because it's her only other option. They left behind a broken, scared little girl who has to flirt with grown men in order to make money and feed herself. One who has to dress in rags and scrub floors to pay the mortgage. The old Rachel Berry was gone and there was nothing left but a shell. I was dead inside and I knew this, but I never wanted to admit it to myself until now when things finally came crashing down on the only good thing I had left, my relationship with Noah. Rachel Berry was gone and there wasn't a thing anyone could do about it.

"You're right" I whispered. There was no point in arguing anymore, I'd already lost him. Noah didn't deserve someone as broken and inconsiderate as me. I should have trusted my instincts and stayed away from him, I knew something bad was going to happen. I knew I'd end up getting hurt and worst of all, I was hurting him, disappointing yet another important person in my life. Perhaps that's all I was good for: disappointment. Maybe that was why everyone hated me?

Good things didn't happen to people like me and I knew that if I truly loved him, I'd have to let him go. Noah was happy, he had friends and a family, and he didn't need me. It's _me _who needs _him_.

I stood up slowly and walked over to him, grabbing his large, calloused hands in my smaller ones. I'd miss his hands, they were so warm. I loved the way they swallowed mine when we walked down the hall together. He always made me feel so safe and protected. The way he snarled at innocent students who just happened to look our way. I loved how possessive he was of me and how if Finn came anywhere near me, he'd let out a low growl as if he were an animal protecting his mate. I loved the look he always gave me when he thought I wasn't looking. He looked at me like I was his whole world, the bane of his very existence. Like I was special and was actually worth something. Like I was something other than a neglected child starved for love and attention.

I took a deep breath and blinked back my tears, looking into his warm eyes. "I'm sorry, Noah, but the person you see now is the person I am. I can't go back because that girl doesn't exist anymore. I love you so much and that's why I'm doing this. You deserve better, someone who you can be happy with, someone that can give you everything that I can't. I was foolish enough to think that person was me, but we both know it's not. I'm sorry for wasting your time, but I want to thank you. No one has ever made me feel the way you do, nor has anyone cared for me like you did. I hope you find someone who can give you everything you deserve" I whispered, hugging him tightly. I buried my face in his chest, inhaling his scent. His cinnamon and sandalwood smell that always comforted me and made me feel loved. I gave him one tight squeeze before running out of the auditorium, never looking back.

Once I was outside, I broke down. Sobbing in the middle of the hallway like the loser I am. Luckily everyone was in class, I didn't need another blast from Jacob on top of everything else. I could picture the rumors now, I'd probably be slushied by tomorrow if not sooner. That was another bonus that came along with being Noah's girlfriend, no one dared slushie anyone who associated with McKinley's top badass.

I pulled myself off the ground, wiping off my skirt. I still had two more classes before my day was over. Usually I'd stay and watch Noah practice, but since we weren't together anymore and I wasn't a part of the glee club, I had no reason to be here. I sighed and headed to my locker to grab my things, there was no way I'd be able to concentrate in my last two classes. At least if I skipped I'd have time to catch up on homework that I probably wouldn't be able to get done without Noah's help. More tears sprung to my eyes when I thought about how hard he worked to be with me. He'd brought up his grades and actually studied so he could follow me to New York. At this point I was doubtful I'd even make it, let alone graduate early or even at all.

I'd always had this big dream that I'd become someone. I'd promise myself that I'd be able to look back at the person I am now and laugh at how pathetic I am. That my past life would be so insignificant that I could just forget it and move on. When Noah entered the picture, I'd added him to my dream. We were going to become someone together. Him and I. Noah and Rachel. We would accomplish everything together and people would regret calling ever calling us Lima losers.

I sniffled as I began my walk home. It was December and without Noah, I had no ride home and the school bus wasn't due for another two hours or so. I pulled up my knee socks and squinted my eyes against the harsh cold.

I kept thinking about my dream and how it'd been crushed. Every dream I ever had was ruined, not a single one seemed realistic anymore, and it was all pointless. I used to dream that my fathers would return home with gifts, telling me how much they loved me and missed me. They would tell me all about their vacation and how much fun they had, promising that next time I would go with them. I used to dream they cared about me and that they were sitting in the first row of my glee performances, cheering me on and supporting me. I used to dream that I had a mother, someone who would take one look at her baby girl and instantly fall in love. I needed someone who would teach me how to sing or how to flirt with boys. Anyone to talk to when things got tough.

I wiped the frozen tears away as they made their way down my frost-bitten face. The walk home wasn't long, but I hadn't faced it since I was with Noah and I quickly remembered how much I hated it. I would miss the rides to school in his rusty old truck. I would miss the breakfasts he would bring for us and how he would always hold my hand on the ride there, giving me a little squeeze every time we hit a stop sign. I would miss the way he'd lift me out of the car and kiss me roughly before we walked into school. He'd walk me to my locker and carry all my books with one hand while the other was protectively wrapped around me as we made our way towards homeroom.

I sighed as I leaned up against the doorway, throwing my bag on the floor. I leaned my head back against the wall and shut my eyes tightly. Snow melted off of my red coat and fell to the ground in clumps around my feet. I watched as my tiny dog Poppy rushed to lick it up. I slid down the wall next to her and patted her head laughing as she jumped into my lap.

"You'll never leave me right?" I asked, scratching her pointy ears as she looked at me with her massive puppy eyes. She leaned forward and licked my face, kissing away all my tears as if she could sense that I was upset.

"He's gone, Poppy" I cried as she snuggled into my arms. "It's just us".

She let out a small whine and I buried my face in her fur. Poppy wasn't like other dogs. She didn't trust people, but who could blame her. She'd been tossed aside and forgotten about just like I was. She hid most of the time, especially when Noah was around. Sometimes she'd hide for days without making an appearance and other times-like now-she's all over me, protecting and comforting me. She was honestly the only friend I ever had. She always listened to me and she never complained even when I didn't have enough money to feed her. I'll never forget the day I found Poppy.

_It was a week after my fathers left and I was walking home from my final dance class. I remember feeling like my world was coming to an end. First my fathers leave and now I have to quit doing the things I loved as well? _

_The vocal lessons were the first to go, they were way too expensive and since I had an extensive background in music, they hired me as a teacher. I couldn't take dance anymore since it took up too much time and I desperately needed to find another job. Sure the vocal lessons paid a decent amount, but I had a house to keep up with and minimum wage wouldn't cover it. _

_I continued walking when I heard a whining sound coming from one of the dumpers in an alleyway. Hesitantly I made my way towards it, keeping guard as it got louder and louder. I lifted the lid on the dumpster and peered in cautiously._

"_Hello?" I asked quietly, gazing into the can._

_A small whimper pierced the air and I instantly began digging through the trash, searching for whatever it was that was in distress when I reached a little patch of fur. I jumped back in shock thinking that I'd just touched a dead animal when the whimpering nose brought me back. I took a deep breath and dug back in, determine to save the poor animal._

_I grabbed onto the tuft of fur and pulled it out, only to discover that it was a dog. A small shivering black dog that someone had thrown in and left to die. I snuggled the dog close to me, protecting it from the cold. There was no way I could leave her behind like my fathers had left me. _

_I wrapped her in my coat and took her back home. I didn't care that I'd have to spend extra money on dog food or other things. The only thing that mattered was that I needed her and she needed me. We could take care of each other._

"Are you hungry, pretty girl?" I cooed as she jumped next to me.

I dried my eyes and made my way into my empty kitchen. I opened the cabinet that contained Poppy's dog food and sighed as I pulled out the empty bag.

"I guess we have to shopping, huh?" I asked as she cocked her head to the side. "I'll be right back" I said as I pulled on my snow covered pea coat.

I made my way out the door and to the bus stop. I leaned against the telephone pole and took out my wallet and began counting my money.

"Twenty-five dollars" I whispered as tears streamed down my face. I only had 25 dollars to my name, how sad was that? A bag of dog food costs at least ten and I still needed to get food for myself. I shoved the money into my pocket and crossed my arms over my chest when it hit me.

I was never getting out of here. I was never going to make it to New York. I'd have to dip into my New York fund again to pay for this month's bills and my savings was slowly dwindling away just like my dreams.

**Puck P.O.V.**

"Move your ass, Puckerman! You're playing like a little girl out there, get your head in the game!" Coach Beiste screamed.

"Hey, you alright man?" Finn asked as we took a water break.

"Why the fuck do you care?" I spat, rinsing the dirt out of my mouth.

"I heard about Rachel" he whispered as if it were a secret, fucking idiot, the whole fucking school knew.

"Yea, and?" I asked.

"I'm here if you need me, I mean I know we've had our differences, but you're still my best friend" he said softly.

"Whatever Finnessa, I don't need your bullshit right now" I growled as I pulled my helmet over my head.

As soon as Coach Beiste's whistle blew I took off, tackling the first person in my way. I fell to the ground I could feel all the other pain leave my body as the new pain overtook it. It was exhilarating. It took my mind off of the pain I was feeling in my heart. When Rachel walked out of the doors, I felt I'd been stabbed.

Sure she'd lied to me and sure I was upset, but I didn't think she'd break up with me over it. I was assuming she'd just tell me the truth, we'd hold each other as we worked through it and then we'd move on. Rachel and I were strong people, our relationship was even stronger. I never thought that a few little white lies would be enough to break us.

I knew Rachel had changed, she'd become more mature and serious. I didn't mind the alteration, but she wasn't the girl I fell in love with. She wasn't the girl that has been clouding my mind for the past two years. None of that mattered now though. I'd lost her, the only girl I'd ever loved I had lost all because I wasn't good enough.

I felt like a fool for believing that Rachel actually loved me, that she _believed_ in me. I knew it was too good to be true, Rachel was far too good for me. She was smart, caring, and determined and she was always striving for success, unlike me who could care less about life and everyone in it. I knew there was a reason people always looked down upon me and it was because I was nothing. My own father had even walked out on me.

I'd been called a 'Lima loser' more times than I could remember and I'd never believed them until now. Rachel was the only reason I was trying to do well. She was the only reason I went to class and woke up with a smile on my face. Sure I loved my Ma and my sister, but it wasn't the same it was a different kind of love with Rachel. I'd disappointed so many people in my life that it seems pointless to even try anymore. I tried to please my mother by taking care of the house. By making sure that both her and Sarah are both taken care of. I tried to go good by my mother's request to find a beautiful Jewish girlfriend who I'd loved with my entire heart and this is how it ends. I try to be a good big brother, but I always fuck up Sarah's projects when she asks me for help, although we did make a badass solar system one time. I wanted to be someone she could look up to, someone she can admire. But most importantly, I tried to be a good boyfriend and protect the girl I loved. I thought I was doing a good job, I thought Rachel loved me back, but I was wrong. I wasn't good enough for her, I'd disappointed her in some way and now she didn't want me anymore.

"ALL RIGHT LADIES, THAT'S ENOUGH, HIT THE SHOWERS!" Coach screamed through the megaphone.

"I'm only saying this because I'm looking out for you man, but whatever you got going on with Rachel has to stop. You missed three passes today and now we all have to run extra laps. I know you're down for the exercise and what not, but if I don't get higher that an A-, my dad is gonna have my ass and I can't do that if I'm busy paying for your mistakes" Mike said as he walked past.

"Fuck you, Mike. You don't know shit" I spat as I grabbed my gear. As soon as the words left my mouth I felt bad. Mike was one of the few decent guys left and here I was giving him shit, disappointing yet another person in my life.

I didn't show it though, I didn't want him to know what a failure I was even though he could see it. I didn't want him to know how sorry I was for letting him down, for letting my team down. I glared at him as he shook his head and walked away without another word.

I grabbed my stuff and headed to the locker room stopping when I found Azimio and Karofsky cornering some losers.

"Hey look who it is?" Azimio sneered nodding towards me. "Sup pony boy?" he laughed.

"Where you going, huh? Off to go fuck your dirty little whore?" Azimio jabbed. "I bet she can get real dirty" he laughed. "Considering she's the one who has to clean it up! I mean, I heard of dressing like a French maid, but never like a hobo! But hey, if that's some kinda fetish you got, then by all means Puckerman, fuck the little slut".

"Fuck you!" I yelled, feeling my eyes sting with tears I wouldn't dare let fall. I stormed over to them and smirked. "You think you're so fucking tough?" I screamed.

"Fuck this, you wanna go Puckerman? 'Cause I'm tired of your weak ass walking around here like you're a fucking prince. You're old news bro, dating the queen of rags brought you down and you're playing like a pussy on the field. No one's scared of you anymore" Azimio boasted as a small crowd gathered.

I sighed and rolled my eyes, I didn't have time for this bullshit, and I had a class to get to. I was just about to shove past them when I realized it was math, the class I always skipped. I'd promised Rachel I'd attend all my classes and do better so I could follow her to New York and it was obvious now that it wasn't happening. I squeezed my eyes closed in anger, balling my fists by my side. I'd tried so hard in all my classes, fuck I even stayed up late to study and get ahead of the class. None of that mattered now. I was destined to be nobody and I truly I, the nobody that Rachel didn't want anymore.

I opened my eyes and was met with Karofsky and Azimio's cold stares and before I could stop myself, my fists were flying towards them. I pounced at them, hitting them with all my strength until Karofsky got me pinned up against the lockers and Azimio struck. I felt his lip bust as a punch was thrown into my jaw and my eye burned as it connected with an iron fist. I should have known I couldn't take both of them by myself, but I didn't care anymore. I welcomed the pain.

As punch after punch was delivered to my rapidly bruising body, I didn't care how much of a pussy I looked like getting his ass kicked in front of the entire school. I just wanted it all to end. I just wanted the hole in his heart to close and for the pain that Rachel had caused to end. I closed his eyes and welcomed the pain as it flooded my body, I could feel myself slipping-loosing consciousness with every passing second.

I was just about to give in when I heard Mr. Schue and Coach Beiste's voices. I felt himself being unhanded and pulled off the ground.

"You okay, Puck?" Mr. Schue asked carefully. I wanted to nod, but my head was spinning and everything was blurry.

"Focus Puckerman!" Beiste snapped, bringing me back. "I need you to try and stand up for me, we're going to call your mother and get you to a hospital".

"Don't call Ma, it's her day off" I mumbled. Nobody knew how hard my Ma worked to support me and Sarah. Thursdays were the only day she got to relax and I sure as hell wasn't going to take that away from her.

"Not an option, Puckerman" Coach Sylvester piped up. "She's already on her way down here".

"Fuck" I swore, shaking my pounding head.

"What were you thinking Puck?" Mr. Schue asked as I shrugged. All I wanted to do was go to sleep and before I knew it, my eyes were shut.

"Wake up!" Coach Beiste hollered, snapping her fingers in my face. I felt myself being pushed into a chair and I opened my eyes and fuck did the left one sting like a bitch when I moved it.

I peered around with my good eye and noticed I was in Figgins' office. My mother was sitting next to me, tears in her eyes and Mr. Schue was sitting across from us, his arms folded tightly across his chest. I inwardly sighed, knowing I was disappointing everyone yet again, but surprisingly I didn't care that much.

"Mr. Puckerman, do you care to explain why you attacked two of my students today?" Figgins asked, his thick accent making it difficult to understand with the pounding in my head.

"Not really" I groaned, rubbing my temple.

"Why, Noah?" My mother cried.

"They were saying shit alright, I just couldn't just let it fly" I shrugged.

"So you decided to use your fists? Why Puck, I honestly thought you were better than this?" Mr. Schue said, shaking his head.

"Yea? Well, you're wrong" I mumbled.

"I don't understand it" Coach Beiste said. "You were doing so well, getting straight A's, hell, you were the best guy on the field until today. What the hell happened?".

"Nothing" I spat. "I'm still the same loser everyone thinks I am, why do all of you care?"

"Noah" my mother begged.

"What, Ma?" I asked, my voice getting louder. Now I was angry, I was just acting the way everyone thought I was supposed to, just playing the part. Everyone knew I was a fuck up, so why they are so surprised that I'd acted on it I'll never know.

"That's enough" Figgins said, clearing his throat. "You are suspended for two weeks for your random acts of violence. I will not tolerate this type of behavior in my school, is that understood Mr. Puckerman?" he asked.

"Whatever" I shrugged, standing up and walking out. I couldn't stay in there any longer and look at their faces. Ma was so upset with me and I hated seeing her in tears. I knew I'd fucked up with Mr. Schue. We'd gotten close during our Acafella days and I sorta looked up to him. I knew Coach Besite was pissed and it'd be a miracle if she allowed me back on the team, hell even Coach Sue seemed a little disappointed.

I walked out and sat in my truck waiting for my mother. I'd caught my reflection on the Cheerio's trophy cases and shuddered. I was a mess both physically and mentally.

"I guess I'll meet you at home then?" my mother said, walking to the side of my truck.

"Yea" I shrugged.

"Are you okay to drive, I really think you should go to the hospital and have yourself checked out. You could have a concussion" she said softly.

"I'm alright Ma" I whispered.

"Okay, I'll see you at home" she turned to leave.

"Wait!" I yelled, catching her attention. "I'm really sorry Ma, I don't know what came over me. I was just so angry, I mean how could she do this to me?" I asked, my eyes filling with tears.

"Oh _Bubbla_" my mother cried. "I'm so sorry, why don't we talk about it when we get home okay?" she asked.

"Yea, thanks" I smiled softly. "Hey Ma!" I yelled again as she walked to her car. "I love you!"

"I love you too Noah. I love you so much" she smiled back.

**Rachel P.O.V**

"Excuse me, do you think you could hand me that bag?" I asked politely, pointing to a bag of dog food on the top shelf.

"Sure" the guy responded, he reminded me a lot of Noah. Same height, same muscular build, and same smirk that always made me weak in the knees. But it wasn't him, it couldn't be. He was at still at school, practicing while I was in the next town over buying food.

"Thanks" I smiled as I headed towards the cash register. I'd managed to buy quite a bit with the twenty-five dollars. Frozen dinners, noodles and spaghetti sauce, milk, yogurt, peanut butter, and bread would last me a while or at least until I picked up an extra shift at Joe's.

I grabbed my bags and made my way to the bus stop, plopping down on a bench. Columbus was so much bigger than Lima, there were always people milling around trying to get places. No one ever noticed or recognized me, which is another reason I liked to come here. I liked to watch people, for instance, the guy across the street carrying his coffee and talking on the phone. He was wearing a business suit so I was assuming he was on his way home from work. Probably home to his family and kids. Home, something everyone has but me. Yes, I have a house, an empty house with nothing but memories. They say that it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, but I'm not so sure about that one.

Sometimes I wonder if I would have been better off without my fathers. If it weren't for them I wouldn't be so weak, so broken. If it weren't for them I would have more time to practice, to study, to be a normal kid. It wasn't fair what they did to me, taking away my chance at a good life, my chance to make mistakes and learn like everyone else. They forced me to become an adult, to learn to take care of myself and to never make mistakes. They took away my opportunity to enjoy life.

Perhaps if I'd been born into a normal family, I wouldn't have these issues. If I'd had both a mother and a father or even just a mother, things would be different? I knew deep down it wouldn't have been. Somewhere someone had planned my life, determining the outcome of every thought or action I ever made. I didn't believe in God anymore, how could I after everything that I have been through? It wasn't possible that he would have created me to live this life, to be alone. He wouldn't have created someone who was constantly in fear, someone who was so selfish and incapable of being loved. I was always taught that God had created all man to be equal, but that couldn't possibly be true. I was living proof of that. Everyone else was normal, I was the outsider. I'm the failure who nobody likes and could do nothing right. The silly little girl who has big dreams that will never come true no matter how hard she strives. I could not believe that everything had a purpose, if that was true then what was mine?

I watched the man as he hurried to his car, stopping at a flower vender and picking up a bouquet on his way. They were beautiful flowers, pink and white roses. I couldn't remember last time I'd gotten flowers, I was fairly certain that I never had. I'd never had anyone who cared enough to give them to me. Whoever was receiving those flowers was lucky they had someone who thought they were worth something. That person was lucky to have a family and a home with people they loved. To be able talk to someone and be social, I hadn't had that in two years.

I sighed as I watched the man disappear into his car. He seemed in a hurry, it was getting a little dark outside. I glanced at my watch, the bus wasn't due for another twenty minutes and I was starting to get a little scared. The walk from the bus to my house was fairly long and I hated doing it in the dark, plus I still needed to make it in time for my last vocal lesson and my shift at the bar.

"Excuse me, is this seat taken?" a man with a thick accent said, gesturing to the bench I was perched on.

"No, you can join me if you like" I said, checking my watch again.

"That's very kind of you" he smiled as I made eye contact with him.

"Oh my god!" I gasped, quickly turning away from him.

"Is there something the matter?" he asked worriedly.

"No, nothing at all" I said happily, keeping my body turned away from the dark-haired man.

"If you insist" he said, opening up a newspaper.

I fidgeted nervously next to him, praying that he wouldn't recognize me from the bar. I'd only seen him that one time a few weeks ago when he'd given me the large tip. James, I think his name was. Yes, it was him and if he remembered me, I was doomed. The bar was my safe place, I used a fake name and wore a ton of make-up to keep people from knowing who I really was. If Joe found out I was only 16 he would fire me and I couldn't afford to lose my job.

"Are you waiting for someone, miss?" he spoke from beside me, lowering his newspaper.

"Just the bus" I said quietly.

"Oh, I hope you don't have to wait too much longer. A pretty girl like you shouldn't be out here all alone at night" he cooed.

"I'm perfectly capable of getting myself home" I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I never suggested that you couldn't" he said, reaching for his cell phone. "You know, you look very familiar are you from around here?" he asked smoothly, pressing buttons on his phone.

"No, I'm staying with a few of my relatives while my school is taking a winter break" I lied, hoping he didn't sense the fear in my voice.

"Hmm, I could have sworn I've seen you before" he mumbled, putting his phone to his ear.

Suddenly my phone started ringing and I froze. Nobody ever called me on this phone besides Noah. I hesitantly pulled it from my pocket and paled when I noticed the unknown number.

"So it is you?" he smirked, turning towards me.

"P-pardon me?" I asked, my voice wavering.

"Don't you remember me, Roxanne?" he asked, his R's rolling smoothly.

"Y-you must have me confused with someone else" I said quickly, shaking my head.

"I don't think so" he smiled, his perfect white teeth on full display. "You look different though, I almost didn't recognize you, it was your voice that gave you away" he chuckled.

I turned away, refusing to talk to him. For the first time in two years I prayed, I begged god to make this man go away.

"What's the matter, Roxanne? Don't you want to talk with me now? We had such a lovely little chat the other day" he drawled.

"No, that was strictly business" I snapped.

"Ah, but I thought we were having fun, didn't you?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

"No. And again, it was business. You were a paying customer and I'm the bartender, it's my job to service you and I did. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to leave" I said, grabbing my shopping bag.

"But your bus isn't here yet" he stated. "Why don't you and I go grab a bite to eat, you must be hungry, it's almost dinner time?" he said.

I didn't answer. I continued to stand on the corner waiting for my bus, the faster I got out of here the better. When he mentioned dinner I felt my stomach growl, if the bus didn't make it in the next five minutes I wouldn't have time to eat anything before my lesson.

Suddenly he was standing behind me and I could feel his breath on my neck. "Don't worry, I can give you a lift home afterwards" he murmured, his hand moving to sweep the hair off my neck.

I shivered and took a step forward, his touch felt wrong and disgusting. I wanted nothing more than to get out of there.

"Don't worry about dinner, it'll be my treat" he smiled, stepping in front of me. He held his hand out, waiting for me to take it. I looked up into his dark blue eyes and nodded, accepting his hand. I honestly didn't have a choice, the bus wasn't coming any time soon and I was starving, a free dinner sounded like the best idea in the world.

"Okay, but I can't stay long. I have to be home before eight" I said.

"Perfect" he smiled again, squeezing my hand. The shivers returned, but they weren't so bad this time. It was nothing compared to the tingles that Noah gave me, but it was a start. James seemed to be interested in me, almost as if he cared.

He led me to his car, a black Mercedes, and helped me inside. He slid into the driver's side with a wink and started the engine.

"W-where are we going for dinner?" I asked nervously, chewing my lip.

"Do you like Italian?" he asked, pulling out of his parking spot.

"Yes" I answered shyly.

"Then you're in luck, I happen to know the owners of the best Italian restaurant in Ohio" he boasted and I laughed.

"So, Roxanne, tell me about yourself?" he asked as we drove.

"W-what do you want to know?" I asked skeptically, I was beginning to trust him a little, but not enough to give out all of my information.

"Well, let's start off with school. I know you lied about your age, it's clear that you are not 19, I'm guessing around 16?" he asked as I nodded hesitantly. "Huh?" he scratched his chin in thought. "Now what in the world is a nice young girl like you doing working in a bar?" he turned to me.

I gulped. "I have to support myself" I answered simply, hoping that was enough for him.

"Where are your parents, why aren't they supporting you?" he asked.

"They're not around anymore" I said, feeling the tears burn behind my eyes. "The people in my life tend to leave, I was never good enough for them" I said tightly, forcing myself to stay calm and not burst into tears.

"Whoever told you that doesn't deserve the air you breathe" he said, pulling up to a small restaurant. "I don't even know you and I can tell that you're someone special. People are selfish, Roxanne. They'll say and do anything to bring you down, because every time they knock you down, they stand up a little higher."

"I-I've never thought of it like that before" I sniffled.

"How about we eat dinner and you can tell me all about yourself?" he asked.

"Okay" I nodded eagerly.

As soon as we walked in we were seated. James insisted on ordering for me since he knew what was best and I agreed, content that someone seemed interested in me for once. Someone actually _cared_ about me.

Our food came and we talked the entire time. I ended up coming clean and telling him I was still in high school. I told him about the slushies and how I used to be in glee club until Santana, Brittany, and Quinn joined and ruined the only good thing I had left. I told him about graduating early and going to New York. I blabbered on and on about Broadway and not once did he seem uninterested.

"You a very intelligent young lady, Roxanne, surely you must have a boyfriend?" he asked and I winced.

"We broke up" I whispered, hanging my head down. "We used to be best friends when we were little, but we grew apart when we started high school. He asked me out one day and I said yes. I thought we were in love, everything was going so perfectly, but. . ." I trailed off, not wanting to cry. I knew it was my fault Noah and I broke up, I couldn't tell him the truth and that's all he'd asked of me. I wasn't good enough for him.

"But what?" he asked, encouraging me to continue.

"What time is it?" I asked suddenly. "I have to get home, I have to go to work, and you promised me I'd be home by eight!" I panicked. "I can't be late, I can't afford to loose this job" I cried.

"Calm down, Roxanne, I'll take you home" he said, helping me with my coat.

"Rachel" I murmured as I slipped my arms through the sleeves. "My name is Rachel".

"It's very nice to meet you, Rachel" he smiled as we headed back to his car. We began the drive back to Lima in silence. "Can I asked you a question, Rachel?" he asked timidly.

"I suppose" I answered.

"Why are you working so many jobs, surely your parents must have left you with something?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I've been completely on my own for the past two years, James. My dads didn't leave me a single cent" I said angrily.

"I see" he nodded. "What if I told you I had an opening for a job that could help you out with your little financial problems?" he asked.

"R-really?" I asked, my eyes lighting up.

"Sure, sure. Of course you'd have to quit your other ones and possibly even school. This is a full time job, but the pay is worth it" he smiled. "Just look at me!" he laughed, gesturing to his expensive car.

"I don't know. I was planning on graduating early and then moving to New York" I said hesitantly.

"I understand, this is a lot to comprehend. You have your dreams and your future to think about, but imagine how much easier it would be if you didn't have to worry about it."

"You're right" I said. "I could always do online school, lots of people do it right?" I asked.

"That they do" he smiled. "In fact, a lot of the girls here do their schooling online" he said, pointing to the large building we'd pulled up to.

"W-where am I?" I asked, noticing for the first time that we were not in Lima.

"Your new home" he smiled, opening my car door. "You're going to like it here, I can already tell" he said pulling me out of the car.

"Where are you taking me? You said you would take me home!" I yelled as he dragged me towards the building. It was pitch black outside and I could hardly see a thing. The closer I moved to the building the more scared I became.

"And I will, just as soon as you get yourself acquainted with everyone" he said opening the door.

Immediately I was hit with the stench of urine. The building was completely dark, only red lights hung in each corner. I covered my hand with my nose and tried not to gag.

"Alright everyone!" he yelled when we'd reached what looked like a common area. "We have a new member, let's welcome her to our group!" he said excitedly.

Almost instantly women and men dressed in leather stepped forward. Their bodies were covered in tattoos and the majority of them were either high or drunk. It was then that I realized where he had taken me. James was a pimp, and all of these people were his whores.

"You wanted to be a star, right? Have everyone's eyes on you while making good money, right?" he asked as he reached for a bottle of vodka.

"Yes, but I-

"Well" he said, cutting me off and handing me a shot glass. "Here's your chance. Welcome to the family, Roxanne!" he cheered as he drank from the bottle. Everyone clapped and whooped as if they'd just won the lottery. I blinked my eyes willing myself not to cry, I'd literally just sold my soul to the devil.

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><p><strong>Author's note: So sorry I haven't updated in forever, I finally have an idea where this story is going &amp; it's completely different from what I planned. I will try to update regularly, the next chapter has already been written!<strong>

**Review!**


	8. Already Gone

**Disclaimer: Do not own Glee!**

**Author's note: Thanks to my beta, Jupiter01**

**Happy reading and please review! :D**

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><p><strong>Rachel's P.O.V<strong>

"We only have a few rules here and they're very simple, really, I think you'll find them appropriate for this line of work" James said, leading me down a hallway. The farther we walked the more prominent the urine smell became and I found myself becoming slightly nauseous.

My eyes darted around, trying to find an exit or some way to escape, but I couldn't. I could feel the fear rising in my throat and I began panicking. He placed his arm around my shoulders and I shrieked, jumping away from him, my shot glass flying out of my hands and crashing to the floor.

"There's no need to be afraid Roxanne, we're going to take very good care of you here. I think it's time you learn the first rule" he smirked. "Never ever refuse and if you do, you can bet there will be hell to pay" he said tightly making sure I understood before handing me his bottle of vodka.

I stared at it with wide eyes, I'd never consumed alcohol before. I'd heard too many stories about people getting hurt when under the influence. I was about to shake my head and decline when his sharp voice cut through the air.

"Rule number one!" he snapped, pushing the bottle into my face. I looked into his blue eyes in shock. I'd never seen him aggressive or loud, his voice was always so soft and smooth like velvet. It amazed me that the man who listened to me talk for hours, the one I had shared all my secrets with is standing before me right now, telling me I had no choice.

"P-p-please don't make me do this" I begged. "I need to get home" I whispered, looking towards the ground, avoiding his harsh stare.

"But you are home, Roxanne. This is what you wanted, no? Everyone will notice you here, you'll be the boss. You call the shots, everyone will look up to you" he whispered and I gulped.

I walked around the room tentatively trying to make the nausea go away. I looked at all the people in the room, prostitutes. They were dirty and disgusting and I couldn't help but think that this resemble some kind of horror movie.

I covered my mouth and fought the urge to throw-up. I couldn't do this, there was no way. I was a virgin, not a prostitute. I was Rachel Berry, the geek who wanted to be on Broadway. The girl everyone picked on and slushied, I was NOT Roxanne the whore.

"Please just let me go" I begged, turning to him. "I don't want this, this isn't me you've got the wrong girl."

"And that's where you're wrong because you want this very much, you just don't know it yet. You're forgetting that I know you _Roxanne_" he said pointedly. "I've seen you act before, flirting with guys in a bar to get tips. I've been watching you for a while now, you say you want to be an actress right?"

"Yes" I whispered, hanging my head in shame.

"Here's your chance to shine" he smiled. "I'd like to introduce you to your character Rachel" he whispered, placing his hands on my shoulders. "You've met her before, in fact you play her everyday, it's time to take Roxanne to the next level and see what she can really do. It's your turn to shine, beautiful."

"B-but, I've never even had s-sex before" I whimpered.

"So we'll start slow" he shrugged. "You don't have to do anything you don't want," he laughed as I frowned.

"I c-can't do this. You can't make me" I sobbed. "Please, let me go home and I promise I won't tell anyone, not even the police. I just want to go home."

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><p><strong>Puck P.O.V.<strong>

I sighed as I exited my truck, grabbing the grape slushie and the doughnut I'd stopped to get on my way home. I walked up the driveway, noticing my mother's car in the driveway.

"You're home early, Noah!" Sarah yelled as she threw her jump rope aside and launched herself at me. "Did you come home just to play with me?" she asked, her hazel eyes shining brightly.

"Yea, I was having a bad day at school" I sighed, rubbing my temple.

"What happened to your face, No'?" she asked, a look of pure horror written across her tiny features.

"I got into a fight with a bunch of assholes" I said, bending down so she could climb onto my back.

"You know mom doesn't like it when you fight" she sighed. "Did you at least teach them a lesson?" she asked.

"Yes, I think they got the memo, Squirt" I chuckled. Leave it to my sister who can be the biggest pain in the ass at times to be the one to make me smile.

"Were they really mean? Like bullies?" she asked as she swung her legs back and forth.

"Yea, Sarah they're pretty bad" I sighed, plopping her down on the couch.

"Good. I'm glad you set them straight. I'm really happy you're not a meanie anymore No'. People like you better when you smile" she said.

"Good to know" I said, plopping down next to her.

"Noah, I know you said you had a bad day, but I just wanna tell you that you're a really good big brother. I can't wait to tell all the kids at school that you beat up all the meanies. I'm gonna tell Tommy Myer that if he pulls my hair one more time I'm gonna get my brother, that's you, to beat him up!" she exclaimed.

"Cool, make sure all those little bitches know who's boss" I smirked.

Sarah covered her mouth in shock. "You said a swear word" she yelled, her finger pointing towards my chest. "But don't worry, I won't tell mom 'cause she'll yell and that'll just make your bad day even _worser_" she whispered.

"Thanks, Squirt. You know you're not so bad when you're not being all annoying and shit" I mumbled as she jumped into my lap.

"I love you No'." she said, burying her face in my chest, the same way Rachel used to.

I dropped a kiss on her head. "Love you too, Sarah."

"Noah! Are you home?" my mother called from upstairs.

"Yea!" I yelled back as Sarah moved to the floor to watch TV.

"Come upstairs sweetheart, we need to have a talk" she said calmly.

I groaned, rubbing my hand over the back of my neck. "I swear I didn't tell on you" Sarah said, whipping her head towards me.

"I know Shorty, it's about beating up the bullies" I said as I headed into the kitchen for some ice.

I grabbed a towel and wrapped the ice inside, holding it gently against my eye. Fuck did it hurt like a bitch.

"You wanted to talk, Ma?" I asked as I stood in the doorway of my mother's bedroom.

"Sit down" she said, patting the comforter on her bed.

"Look Ma, I told you I was sorry, I just couldn't let them get away with saying those things" I sighed.

"I understand Noah and I'm not upset" she said softly.

"You're not?"

"Disappointed, yes, but not angry. You were doing so well and I'm so proud of you. You're going places, Noah and no one can stop you. Tell me what happened, why did you risk throwing all your progress away?" she asked.

"She didn't want me anymore" I said, pulling the ice pack away. "I tried so hard to be good for her, ya know?" I shrugged. "I thought we were happy, I mean everything was so perfect. I even told her I loved her, I thought that's what she wanted to hear and I meant it. I still do" I said, looking at Ma who nodded in response. "We were gonna do it together, go to college, get jobs, get married, have kids, and all that other shit that comes with being a couple. We had it planned" I shook my head. "I worked so hard, Ma. Why didn't she see that? Why wasn't I good enough for her?" I asked, breaking down.

"Ssh, don't cry baby boy. It'll be okay" she said, hugging me tightly. "It's not your fault, honey. No girl is worth your tears sweetheart."

"But she is Ma" I whined, sounding like a ten year old. "She's so perfect and fuck, she's so beautiful. She treated me differently than everyone else, like for once I thought that I could be somebody, somebody important. Just the way she looked at me made me feel special, like she really believed in me. And you would have loved her" I said. "She was supposed to be your perfect Jewish daughter in-law and we'd give you perfect Jewish grandkids that you'd go batshit crazy over" I laughed sadly.

"You're turning out to be such an amazing man Noah, better than I ever thought possible" she smiled as she gently placed the ice pack over my eye. "You know after your father left, I never thought I'd breathe again, never thought I'd get out of bed, but you know what got me through?" she asked as I shook my head. "You did" she smiled.

"Me?" I asked.

"And your sister of course" she nodded. "You two would come running in my room every morning jumping around and telling me how much you loved me. I had something to live for Noah, the only reason I made it through the day was because of you. You two are my life, and I'm so proud of you."

"So what're trying to tell me?" Drying the tears I let fall. I hadn't cried in front of my mother since I was ten and watched my father walk out the door without saying goodbye.

"You need to find your purpose, Noah. You need to move on and forget about her, you have so much potential and you've proven how hard you can work. Just look at your grades and the house, I've never seen it so clean!" she chuckled.

"But it's not that simple, Ma. She was my best friend, the only person who really understood me" I said, burying my face in my hands.

"Let's just pretend for a second that you never met this girl, okay?" she asked as I nodded. "Pretend you could go anywhere and do anything in the future, that there's nothing stopping you. What would you do?"

"I-I guess go to college" I shrugged.

"For what?"

"Music" I mumbled.

"Pardon me?"

"I want to go to school for music, I want to play the guitar and write songs and learn about theory and chords and stuff." I said hesitantly.

She took a deep breath, "Why didn't you ever tell me?" she asked.

"Because that shit won't pay the bills, Ma. Face it, it doesn't matter what I want because I'll never fucking get it. I wanted Rachel and she screwed me over, I wanted Sarah to grow up with her father in her life, but that bastard walked out on us. I want you to not have to work so much, but I have no choice. I want to go to college and I want to do well, but it is never gonna happen. As soon as I graduate, Burt is gonna hire me full time to work at the garage. I'm gonna help out more, but I can't do that if I keep dreaming about stupid things that'll never happen. I'm gonna make things better for you and Sarah. I'm gonna man up and stop dreaming like a kid, then maybe people will see how fucking wrong they were about me" I said, snatching the ice pack and pressing it against my eye.

"It doesn't matter what people think and you've done enough for your sister and I. It's time for you to focus on yourself and achieve your goals. Stop worrying so much about Sarah and I, we're fine. You spend so much time taking care of other people, but you never take care of yourself. I know that deep down, you're still that same little boy who used to come running into my bedroom at night during a thunderstorm. Just do what's best for you, Noah" she said tiredly.

"What's best for me doesn't matter. I'm not worth shit and I never will be, the least I can do is look after you guys." I said, walking out the door.

"Noah, wait!" she cried.

"Save it, Ma. I'm done. You and Sarah are the only people who give a fuck about me and I'm gonna do everything I can to keep you guys happy. Quit trying to lookout for me, I can take care of myself." I said, grabbing my jacket as I stormed out the door.

* * *

><p><strong>Rachel P.O.V.<strong>

I fell to the floor as I sobbed, flinching as I felt his hand on my shoulder. I didn't understand why my life had come to this. How did I become so desperate that I ended up in this situation? How did my life get so bad? How had I lost the most important person in my life and what could I have possibly have done to deserve this? Sure I lied to Noah, but I only did it to protect myself. As soon as he found out who I really was he'd leave me just like my fathers. Sure I'd been selfish and I'd demanded all the solos, but it was only because I needed them. I needed the practice if I was ever going to make it one day.

"I must say I'm disappointed in you, Roxanne. I thought you'd be ready for this, for your next role." He said, shaking his head.

"I don't want this, I never wanted this" I cried.

"You're so young, how could you possibly know what you want?" he asked, stroking my hair.

I shook my head, drying my tears. "I've always known" I cried. "And this isn't it, I'm better than this."

"Based on the little story you told me earlier Roxanne, you're not" he whispered. "But this, this will, Roxanne. Think of all the money you'd have, you'd be able to go to New York and sing until your heart's content."

"No" I whimpered, bringing my knees to my chest. I'd realized that no matter how hard I'd tried or how much I begged, the chances of me getting out of this were slim to none.

He stood up, running his hands through his hair in frustration as he paced the room. I took the opportunity to scan the room, locating the stairwell that I'd come down, the one that led towards the exit. Slowly, I stood up backing my way towards the stairs.

"It's a shame you're not seeing things clearly, Roxanne. You and I can do great things together, a nice, young, pure, innocent girl like you. The possibilities are endless." He said in exasperation as I reached the stairwell. A large man dressed in a tight leather vest, looked me up and down taking in my appearance. My red sweater and plaid skirt made me look like I was ten compared to the people in the room. I looked up to him and gulped, there was no way I was getting past him.

My attention snapped back to James who was still ranting about me. "But you don't want to do this? Fine. Go, just know that you'll be back and that I know where to find you." He said menacingly.

I looked at him through my tear filled eyes and ran. I flew past the man blocking my way and up the stairs, pushing through the heavy metal door. Once I was outside I took off, running as fast as I could away from that horrible place.

I ran up the street we came down, spotting his car parked in the alleyway. Without thinking I grabbed the biggest rock I could find and threw it into his window. Glass shattered everywhere, but I didn't care I just wanted my stuff. I reached in the car and grabbed the bag of dog food I'd bought for Poppy and ran.

I ran until I got to the bus station, bursting through the door and immediately shutting it behind me. The girl behind the counter raised her eyebrow at me, but continued reading her magazine instead. I looked around the station, it was mostly empty considering it had to be midnight if not later. I had no idea where I was, and I had hardly any money left on me.

I walked up to the counter, hugging the bag of food closely to my chest. "C-can you p-please tell me which bus goes to Lima?"

"Yea, sure" she said, shoving a schedule through the window.

"Thanks" I whispered, trying to keep myself from falling apart.

* * *

><p><strong>Noah P.O.V.<strong>

I slammed the door of my truck and stumbled my way up the stairs, pounding on the door.

"What the fuck do you want?" she snapped.

I smirked at her tiny shorts and sports bra that showed off her huge boobs. "Lemme in." I slurred.

"No way, you're drunk." she said, pushing me back.

"Never stopped you before" I said, towering over her.

"You have five minutes to leave before I call my Papa." she snapped.

"It's Friday." I murmured, pushing my way inside. "You're parents go out every Friday and your brother is never home."

"What the fuck happened to your eye, Puck?" she asked, reaching to touch it as I flinched away.

"Fucking Karofsky and Azimio." I spat.

"So you really did try and take them down. What were you thinking? Why the fuck would you try and fight them on your own?" she asked, shaking her head at my stupidity.

"It's none of your damn business." I snapped.

She paused for a second, taking in my drunken appearance. "What do you want, Puckerman?" she sighed.

"You baby, just came by to see how you're doing" I smiled, grabbing her hips and pulling her towards me.

"What, is RuPaul not putting out?" she sniped. "She depriving you of the one thing big boys need the most?" she asked, her eyebrow raised and a smirk on her lips.

"Shut up Santana, I don't want to talk about her." I snapped, kissing her as hard as I could.

She froze for a minute before reacting, kissing me back just as hard. There were no sparks between us, it wasn't even the least bit satisfying. She pulled away and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, but I grabbed her hips and grinded against her. She sighed loudly and turned her neck to the side, giving me access to her bare skin. "Why are you here, Puck? What's gotten you so pissed that you're drunk off your ass and standing in my living room?" she asked impatiently.

"Do you like me?" I asked, rubbing my lips against her neck.

She sighed. "We've been through this before, Puckerman."

"I know." I snapped, grinding against her as she moaned lightly. "Just answer the damn question."

"Yes, I like you."

"How come we never went out?" I asked, kissing her neck gently, my hands moving down to her butt to squeeze and massage the round surface.

"Are you kidding me?" she laughed. "You would've cheated on me with the first skank you saw and I probably would've done the same."

"Is it 'cause I'm not good enough?" I asked, slipping my hands below her shorts, rubbing her clit.

"Fuck" she groaned. "No, that's not why and you know it."

"Then why?" I asked, slipping one finger forward into her wetness.

"Because we're too much alike. It would have never work, we're better off like this" she panted, wrapping her leg around my waist, sending my finger in deeper. "Shit, you're too good at this."

I slipped another finger inside and pumped them quickly, the way I knew she liked it. She pulled her shorts down and began unbuckling my pants. I sucked hard on her neck, biting and licking to leave my mark.

"We have to be quiet, Brittany's upstairs sleeping" she said as she stroked me hard and fast. I grunted as I bit her shoulder blade. This was always how it was between us. Dirty, hard, sloppy, and fast. No feelings and no regrets. It's how things were supposed to be for people like us. So why did I feel so damn shitty doing it?

"What the fuck is she sleeping for?" I groaned as she jerked her wrist around my cock.

She dropped to her knees in front of me and smirked. "Kinky" I said, grabbing her hair tightly in one hand and my cock in the other. I'd always suspected those two were hooking up.

I rubbed the tip over her lips and moaned as her tongue popped out and swiped against it. "Can you handle it?" I asked, rubbing it against her chin.

She looked up and rolled her eyes before pushing my hand away. I tangled both hands in her hair and hissed as she wrapped her lips around the head of my cock and began sucking harshly.

I took one hand off of her head and reached down to free her breasts from her bra. I pulled and tweaked each of her nipples and groaned when she moaned around my dick.

"Fuck" I moaned, thrusting my hips forward into her mouth as she slurped on my cock. She gagged a few times before she pulled away, a trail of saliva stretching from her mouth to my dick.

She spit into her palm and wrapped it around my length, pumping furiously. "I knew you'd come back to me" she smirked. "It was only a matter of time before you got sick of Manhands."

"Don't fucking call her that" I snapped forcing her head back onto my dick. She tried to pull away, but I pried her mouth open and thrust myself in until my entire dick was in her mouth, her lips pressing against my pelvis. "You think you're so much better than her?" I asked pulling her away before crudely shoving myself back inside her warm mouth and down her throat. I chuckled as she began chocking around my dick, her throat muscles contracting as she coughed and whimpered. "You never could take all of me, could you?" I asked as I thrust in and out.

I pulled out as I felt myself on edge and watched as she flew back and grabbed her throat gasping for air. I grabbed my cock and aimed it at her ridicously large breasts and shot my load all over them, swearing as I came.

I slumped against the wall, my eyes closed in pure ecstasy as I came down from my high. I took a deep breath preparing my shaking legs to stand when I opened my eyes to find Santana stocking towards me with an evil look in her eyes.

"You bastard!" she screamed as she slapped me hard across my face.

"Bitch!" I snapped, grabbing her hand as she swung again.

"Fuck you, Puck" she said pulling away, my come dripping from her chest making my dick stir up again.

"Told you, you couldn't handle it" I smirked.

"You obviously don't know who you're dealing with" she snapped as she pulled my shirt over my head, followed by her soaking wet bra.

"Why don't you remind me?" I asked as she wrapped her arms around my neck kissing me harshly.

She moaned as our lips moved in synch, biting and sucking and we explored each other's bodies. "Santana! Fucking! Lopez!" she said, looking me square in the eyes, challenging me. That ridicules smirk placed on her lips. She was never one to back down from a challenge, anyone who knew the feisty Latina knew what they were in for when she walked in the room. Her expressions were easily readable and you could tell when she was pissed off or extremely horny like now.

"Do you want me?" I asked, challenging her back.

She looked away, sighing. "I can't do this. Not with you" she said, pulling away.

"Why the fuck not?" I asked angrily.

"Because you're with fucking _Rachel Berry_, you shouldn't be here Puck. You and I both know that. So go home, go home and say sorry for whatever it is you did wrong. Then you can have awesome make up sex while you look into each other's eyes and all that other shit. I'm not your girl, Puck and I never will be. As much as I hate to say this, you and Rachel were meant to be together. You're meant to get married and have a million fucking annoying Jewish babies and live happily ever after." She said, crossing her arms over her breasts.

"I'm not good enough for her" I whispered.

"Excuse me?" she asked, walking towards me.

"She fucking lied to me, after everything we've been through she fucking lied. She doesn't trust me and honestly I can't blame her. That's why I'm here" I said, walking towards her.

"So what? You just gonna fuck until you forget about her? That's not going to happen, Puck. If you love her you can't let it end like this, you need to fight for her." She said, shaking her head as I grabbed her hips again.

"You don't know shit alright?" I said, picking her up as her legs automatically wrapped around my waist. "When's the last time you had your heart broken into a million pieces? Or the last time you let someone in and trusted them, only to have it thrown back in your face?" I snapped.

"Don't pretend to know me, Puck. You don't know shit about my life" she grunted as I tossed her onto the couch.

"Yea, cause everything's so fucking hard for you. You wanna know what your problem is?" I asked as she glared at me. "You're too fucking stupid to see that people actually like you, you just need to let your walls down and stop being a bitch to see it."

I hovered over her, holding my dick at her entrance. "No." she said, pushing me away. "You're the fucking stupid one. You think you're not good enough for Berry? Have you seen the losers she's dated? First she goes after fucking Finnocence and then St. Jackass. You're the best guy she's ever had, Puck. She's the fucked up one for lying. If anything, she should apologize to you." She said.

I shook my head and pushed two fingers into her, curling them upwards as she fisted her hands in the pillows and groaned.

"Doesn't matter" I said, stroking the rough patch inside her. "She didn't fucking want me, nobody does" I whispered as she screamed her orgasm into the pillow, her core clutching at my fingers.

I stroked myself and watched as her muscles relaxed from her climax. "What are you waiting for?" she asked, pulling me towards her.

"You want me right?" I asked, trying not to let my voice break.

"What kind of question is that?" she panted, her fingernails digging into my ass as she tried to force me inside her.

"Just answer it."

"Of course I do, get inside me now!" she groaned.

"Say it" I demanded, rubbing my cock over the swollen outer lips of her sex.

"Puck!" she yelled in frustration.

"That's not my fucking name!" I snarled, smacking my dick off her clit.

She screamed in pleasure, her hips bucking wildly as her fingernails pierced my skin. "I want you Noah, I want you so fucking much!" she yelled.

As soon as she said those words I lost it. I threw her legs onto my shoulders and slammed into her without hesitation, pounding away without even giving her a chance to adjust.

"Fuck!" she moaned as her hips rose to meet mine.

"Say it again."

"Mm. . .Puck" she groaned.

"No" I snapped, pulling all the way out and slamming back in. "Say my name again."

"Noah!" she screamed and I flinched. Her walls fluttered around my dick as she came, screaming my name over and over again. I felt my balls tighten up and release but there was no feeling involved, it was all wrong. It didn't sound right when she said my name, it was too raspy and raw. It was nothing like Rachel's innocent melodic voice. I stopped thrusting and pulled out, letting go of her legs.

I stood there watching as her face relaxed and her eyes fluttered open. "You okay?" she panted.

"Yea?" I said, placing her legs on the couch.

"Did you even come?" she asked, looking down at my now soft penis and the wet spot on the couch.

"Yea" I murmured.

"Oh, I didn't notice." She said awkwardly. "It's okay, I heard it happens sometimes."

I shook my head as I moved to gather my clothes. I pulled my boxers up and yanked my shirt down over my head, running my hand through my 'hawk.

"I don't know if it's worth anything now, but I really am sorry Noah" she whispered.

"It's Puck" I muttered, shoving my feet into my boots.

"Right, Puck" she nodded. "You need any help?" she asked.

"I'll be fine" I said.

"You don't have to go if you don't want. I mean, you shouldn't drive when you're drunk" she suggested.

"I'll be fine." I said again, grabbing my coat.

"If you need me, you know where I am." she said as she wrapped herself in a blanket.

I opened the door and looked back at her. Santana really was a beautiful girl and it was wrong of me to come and take advantage of her like that regardless of if she enjoyed it or not.

"Yea, okay." I said, running out to my truck.

I climbed in and watched as the lights upstairs flickered on and then back off again. I sighed, even Santana had someone waiting for her, someone who wanted her.

I started the car and headed off towards the bar down the road. I knew Ma was probably worried sick about me, but I couldn't bring myself to care anymore.

"How's it going Puck? Haven't seen you here in a while" the bartender said, reaching for the bottle of Jack and a glass.

"Just give me the bottle." I muttered as I snatched it out of her hands.

"Rough day?" she asked leaning towards me, her boobs practically spilling out of her shirt.

The old Puck would've found the blonde bartender insanely hot and would've flirted until they were in the bathrooms fucking. The new Puck wouldn't have even given her a second glance, most likely because he had the world's most gorgeous girl on his arm. All she had to do was look at him with those big brown and he was a goner. This Puck was different, he just didn't care.

I tipped the bottle back, draining almost half of it before slamming it back down on the counter.

"You free tonight baby?" she asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

"No" I grunted, taking another gulp, letting the alcohol burn its way down my throat.

"My shift ends in two hours" she giggled.

"Not interested" I snapped, bring the bottle back up to my mouth.

"You sure baby, I can help you forget whatever it is you're trying so hard not to think about she whispered.

I looked her once over, she was a representative of everything I didn't need. Of all my weaknesses and problems. I rolled my eyes and pushed her away. "You really need to learn how to take 'no' for an answer, princess" I murmured, chocking back the rest of the bottle.

She scoffed and walked away, her hips swaying obnoxiously as she flirted with another guy. I grabbed my keys and stumbled out to my car, shaking my head at the pathetic bartender.

It didn't matter that I found her appearance disgusting and slightly degrading, I was more worried about the fact that she reminded me of the old Puck, the asshole who would never go anywhere in life.

I threw myself into bed, squeezing my eyes shut to keep the tears inside. It wasn't fair that Rachel did this to me. It wasn't fair of her to be able to rip my heart out the way she did. I rolled over and sniffled, furiously wiping away the tears. I only had my Ma and Sarah to left to live for and starting tomorrow I'd work as hard as I possibly could to make sure they were happy.

* * *

><p><strong>Rachel P.O.V.<strong>

As soon as I got off the bus, I ran home. The heavy bag of dog food weighed me down quite a bit, but I kept going anyway. Never in my life had I been so stupid. I knew better than to go places with strangers and yet I did it anyway. In a way I it was Noah's fault. If he wouldn't have left me, I never would've talked to James in the first place. I just needed someone to talk to, someone to fill the hole that Noah had left and look where it landed me.

I pulled my keys from my coat pocket, forcing my trembling hands to stable enough to unlock the door. I swore as my keys fell to the ground, my knees hitting the rough scratchy surface of the welcome mat as I dropped down to find them.

Tears streamed down my face as I searched for them in the darkness. I could hear Poppy scratching at the door, waiting for me. I sat back on my heels and cried, giving up on finding my keys in the darkness.

The only thing I wanted was to go home and the realization that I had no home made me cry harder, my tears blocking the little vision I had in the darkness. Noah had been the closest thing I had to a home in the past two years. A home is where you feel safe, protected, and loved. I'd lost my home this morning when I'd let my pride get in the way of things. If I'd just been honest with him, I could've avoided the whole thing. A part of me berated myself for being so stupid and the other half applauded me for holding out this long. For never giving in and showing my weaknesses. I'd promise myself the day my fathers left that I'd stay strong, I'd never let them see me cry and I'd never let them win.

I dried my tears and searched for my keys, breathing in a deep sigh of relief when my fingers touched the cool metal of my keychain. I stood up and opened the door, balancing the heavy bag of food in one arm while I scooped up Poppy in the other.

I opened the bag and dumped the food into her bowl, watching as she ate her food happily. I sat down next to her and stroked her black fur, trying to keep myself together.

"You'll never leave me, right?" I asked, scratching her pointy ears. She looked up at me in response before letting out a tiny yip and returning to her food. I smiled and leaned my head against the wall, why couldn't my life be as easy as hers? I mean, she did have it rough in the beginning, but now as I watched her eat, I realized I envied her. She didn't have a care in the world. Didn't have to worry about money or school. She slept all day and whenever she needed something all she had to do was bark. It was sad that my dog had a better life than I did, but I had no one else to blame but myself. I was nothing, but a waste of space. I wasn't even supposed to exist, it wasn't as if I were naturally conceived by a man and a woman deeply in love. Instead my father's hired a surrogate who gave birth to me and then left. Even she knew what a disappointment I would become.

It didn't matter anymore, nothing did. The only thing I could do was try, but the drive was gone. I needed to start over and to try and find myself again, try to and love myself because if_ I_ didn't then no one else would.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note: I decided not to make Rachel a prostitue due to the negative response it got in the last chapter. Rachel and Puck will get back back together as this is a Puckleberry love story, however, it will take some time for them to work out their issues before they're happy.<strong>

**Thanks to those of you who have stuck with this story, I'm sorry if I've disappointed anyone.**

**Please review.**


	9. Everyone Deserves a Second Chance

**Disclaimer: Do not own Glee**

* * *

><p><strong>Rachel P.O.V<strong>

"_Daddies come push me!" I screamed as my legs dangled from the swing. "Come on!"_

"_Alright peanut, here we come." They smiled as they took their places at the swing, one in front and one behind._

"_I want to go higher, so high that I can touch the trees!" I yelled as I reached and arm out, trying to yank a leaf off of a nearby tree._

"_Can you reach it darling?" dad asked._

"_Not yet." I giggled. "Higher!"_

"_Okay Princess, just be careful and hold on tight!" Daddy yelled, he always was the worrier._

_I closed my eyes just for a minute and pretended I was a bird, flying through the sky. It all felt so real in that moment. The cool breeze hit my face and my hair whipped back and forth as I flew through the air. I looked down at my daddies' smiling faces and knew that I was luckier than all the other kids. Not only was I way smarter and way more talented, but I had two daddies who loved me and made me feel like the most important thing in the world._

"_Try and grab that one right there." Dad yelled, pointing to a leaf just within my reach._

"_Hiram! Don't encourage her, this is dangerous enough!" daddy scolded and I giggled, my arm reaching towards the bright green leaf._

_I breathed in and out as I swung back and forth, each time my fingers brushed over the leaf as I got closer and closer. It was my goal to get that leaf and I'd never given up before and I'd be damned if I started now._

"_Come on peanut, you're almost there!" Dad laughed as I stuck my tongue out in concentration, my eyes focused on the leaf and my breaths matching the rhythm of the swing. Just one more deep breath in and one more push and I'd have it._

"_Higher!" I yelled again as I took a deep breath in, my fist closing on the leaf._

_I shrieked in excitement as I swung back, the leaf ripping from the tree. I laughed loudly as my daddies cheered and danced below me, the swing slowly coming to a stop. I jumped off and ran into their arms, both of them hugging me tightly._

"_I knew you could do it, princess." Daddy cooed._

"_I love you, Daddies." I said, wrapping my arms around their necks._

"_We love you too sweetheart, just remember that you're our star and you can do anything you put your mind to." _

I blinked my eyes open slowly, hissing as the bright light blinded me. I sat up, every muscle in my body screaming in pain as I did so. I pushed myself up against the wall, my arms falling limply at my sides.

I groaned when I realize that I'd fallen asleep on the kitchen floor, the bag of dog food abandoned on the tiled floor and Poppy fast asleep in my lap. I pulled out my phone, realizing it was nearly 10:00 a.m. I pulled Poppy into my chest, burying my face in her fur. I felt the tears sting behind my closed eyelids, but I didn't dare let them fall. My breathing was rugged, on the verge of breaking down, but I held it in.

I was tired. So tired of fighting and living a lie, so tired of constantly having to protect myself only to loose the ones I loved. I was done. I didn't need anyone and I definitely didn't need New York. Broadway was only something I'd held onto because I needed a reason to live. When Noah came back into my life, he was that reason. He gave me hope and made me believe that I was someone special.

Of course it didn't last, no one in my life ever does. I squeezed Poppy closer to me, the little dog whimpering in protest at being held so tightly. I couldn't blame her, I wouldn't want to be around someone as disgusting and worthless as me. I let her go, watching as she shook herself off and trotted over to her water dish.

I pulled my knees into my chest and forced myself not to cry. What good would it do anyway? I rocked back and forth in a lame attempt to comfort myself. I'd never forget the nightmares I used to have as a child, the nights I'd wake up screaming and terrified. The nights my fathers would rush in and swoop me into their arms and hold me tight, promising to protect and love me forever.

I tried to pretend that last night was a nightmare, that I woke up and my daddies were there, holding me and promising me that everything was going to be okay. I tried to pretend that I had a home, somewhere where I felt safe and loved. I shook my head, pretending would do me no good, I was living in a nightmare that I'd never wake up from.

My chest felt heavy, I was exhausted, barely having the energy to breathe, my lungs opening and closing as little as possible making a wheezing sound every time I took a breath. I could tell I was getting sick, most likely as a result of running through the streets in the middle of winter last night. I shivered as the memories from that night flashed through my mind. The stench of bodily fluids permeating the air and the daunting look in James' eyes taunted me as I squeezed my eyes shut.

The old Rachel Berry would have never let this happen to her, she would have rather died then go near a place like that. Of course the opportunity would have never happened to the old Rachel Berry. She would have been locked in her room studying, practicing songs for glee, looking up new music to add to her repertoire, recording her MySpace videos, preparing for herself for her nighttime rituals, and most of all she would have had dinner with her fathers, something she used to look forward to every night. She wouldn't have been caught dead in a place like that, she'd never surround herself with people so low, people who sold themselves for sex. She definitely wouldn't have considered it either. A part of me would never be able to forgive myself for what I did last night.

I took a deep breath, wincing at the pain in my chest. How could I be so stupid? This wasn't me, it wasn't who I was born and raised to be. My fathers raised me right, to always believe and to aim for the stars, to try my hardest and to never give up the way they gave up on me. I balled my fists in anger, the pain in my chest increasing as my breaths became deeper and deeper, the tears burning behind my eyes as they forced their way out. Why had I spent my entire childhood thinking I was someone special? Why did I think I was talented or even worth the attention they gave me? Maybe that's why I never had any friends, because I was too busy believing that I was better than everyone because my fathers had always told me I was. Maybe that was why they left, because I wasn't good enough for them.

Suddenly I was furious. It was their entire fault, everything was. They were the reason Noah left me and the reason I didn't have one single person I could trust or consider a 'friend'. It was their fault, they were the ones who took everything from me and left me with nothing but false hope. They'd lied to me, I wasn't anything special. I probably wasn't even as good as they said I was or even at all. They only wanted something to show off, something to prove that two gay men could raise a child, but not just any child. A prodigy. A little girl with big hopes and dreams fueled by praise and encouragement of her parents. A little girl who wanted nothing more then love and happiness.

All I wanted to do was disappear, to go away and never come back. It's not like anyone would miss me anyway, they might even be relieved to have me gone. I furiously wiped the tears from my face, scolding myself for crying over this. I promised myself two years ago that I'd never cry over them, that I'd never even think about the two men who'd discarded and deserted me.

I stood up, my head rushing and my eyes blurring. I stumbled my way over to the stove and turned on the kettle for a cup of hot tea and honey to soothe my burning throat. There was no point in going to school today or any other day for that matter. I had no reason to live, no reason to try, and no reason for school. I'd never make it to New York, it was the dream my fathers had branded into my mind to make me work harder. It was a fantasy like any other remotely good thing in my life, even my relationship with Noah proved that.

I turned off the water and poured the steaming liquid into one of my dad's old coffee mugs. I remembered the way he would sit at the table and read the newspaper every morning while daddy got me dressed and ready for school. I remembered the way I'd come running down the stairs and kiss him on the cheek before breakfast and each time he'd put his paper down, put his mug to the side and smother me with kisses.

I squeezed my eyes shut as my body trembled in pain and anger, the mug flying from my hands to the wall above the trashcan. I watched as the ceramic shattered against the wall and slid slowly down to the floor, the tea spattered everywhere. Poppy yelped at the noise and took off upstairs to hide under my bed. I couldn't stop myself from shaking, I felt exactly like the shattered mug, tossed aside, abandoned, and broken.

I sighed and made my way upstairs and into my bed. I laid on my back and stared at my empty yellow walls that once held so many memories. Trophies and posters used to line these walls, a reminder of everything I once had. The autographed Wicked poster had sold for the most, almost two hundred dollars and even though it nearly killed me inside to sell something I once held onto so closely, I gave it up. Just like I'd sold my entire Barbra Streisand collection and all of my Patti Lupone CDs. Everything that resembled the old Rachel Berry was gone and replaced with the emptiness that represented the new Rachel. The pictures of myself and my fathers that used to embellish my desk were gone, I didn't want to think about them let alone look at them everyday and see what I once had, even if it was a life full of lies.

I closed my eyes and pretended that I was flying. That I was high above everyone and free. I pretended I had no worries and that I was happy flying free. I pretended that there was never anyone in my life and that it was only myself and the bright blue sky ahead of me, there was no one to leave me or hurt me, and no one I could disappoint or disgust. For a moment I could be myself in the air, the breeze rushing through my hair and the sun on my skin. For a moment I could pretend I was happy and not alone.

Tears poured down my face, but I never bothered to wipe them. They fell into my hair and onto my pillow, soaking my sheets. Occasionally I'd see one of my fathers in the sky, but I'd fly right past them, Noah's face appeared numerous times, the hurt look in his hazel eyes are always present. The glee club was there as well, happy and singing without me, but I flew right on by. The pain was still there, haunting me even in my dreams. It seemed like no matter what I did, I'd always be alone.

I didn't realize I was sobbing until I started coughing uncontrollably, my lungs burning from the lack of oxygen and my head spinning, waking me from my dream. I shivered and buried myself under my blankets, the only type of protection I had.

**Puck P.O.V.**

I rolled my eyes as Karofsky shoved Kurt into a locker and dumped a slushy over his perfectly combed hair. My suspension had ended a week ago and I was allowed back to school, not that it mattered if I went or not, I didn't participate or even show up to my classes. A Lima loser. People like me didn't need them, I was destined to be nothing, looked down on by everyone, and doomed to a life of alcoholism or possibly jail.

I'd only been back to school for a week and already I wanted to get out. Being in this building just reminded me of all the things I'd never have. The only time it was bearable was when Rachel was with me in class or when she helped me with my homework. It wasn't that I didn't understand it because I did, I just had no use for it. I wasn't going to college and I'd never be successful. I didn't need to be. As long as I could provide for Ma and Sarah then I was good. I didn't need college for that. There was no way I could leave those two alone and spending my time at home during my suspension proved that.

I could see that things started to get hard for Ma, the bills started piling up and the older Sarah got, the more expensive things she wanted. I wanted Sarah to have everything that I didn't, she deserved it unlike me. I started with the house, painting and fixing up everything I could, it wasn't a complete dump, but it sure as hell wasn't Lima's finest either. Since it was winter, there were no pools to clean so I was forced to find odd jobs elsewhere, even managing to work part-time and Sheets-and-Things with Mr. Schuester's crazy ex-wife. It actually wasn't that bad, it helped passed the time and kept my mind off of the only thing I could think about: Rachel.

I couldn't really remember the last time I'd cried. It wasn't last year when I'd broke my leg in three places tackling Hudson's giant ass during practice and I don't remember shedding a tear when my bastard of a father walked away without a goodbye, so last night must have been the first time. I remember feeling a slight burning sensation behind my eyelids the first time Rachel told me she loved me and then again when she lied to me. I'd never felt that feeling before and I realized that it was the closet I've ever come to crying until now.

Tears poured down my face as I laid on my favorite bed in the nurse's office. It was only first period, but I didn't care, I'd planned on spending the rest of my day and everyday after in here until graduation. There was only a few months of school left, not that it really matter. Everyone had plans to move on and make something of themselves, they all had something to work for. For me, school was nothing but an inconvenience. A place I had to show up to for a few hours a day. Sure I'd had some fun in my freshman and sophomore years, ruling the school as the number one badass and banging cheerios left and right, but now I had nothing. Nothing to prove that I mattered or even existed at McKinley.

I rolled onto my back and stared up at the white ceiling clouded by the tears that would not stop falling. I didn't care that it if someone were to walk in, my badass reputation would be over. It didn't matter anymore. I couldn't help but feel like the biggest disappointment and like I'd given up on everything. I didn't know how long I'd laid there, nor did I care. It was my name being called over the loudspeaker that broke the trance.

I dried the tears the best I could even though they still continued to fall slowly from my face and onto the cold linoleum floors as I kept my head down and made my way to Figgins' office. I pushed open the door and slouched down in the chair in the corner across from Coach Beiste, Mr. Schuster, and Figgins himself.

"Am I suspended again?" I mumbled, keeping my red-rimmed eyes on the floor.

"Not exactly." Principal Figgins said, folding his wrinkled hands on top of his desk. "We're not going to punish you, Noah. We're here to help you."

I snorted and shook my head in disbelief. "Look, if you're worried about me not graduating then you're wasting your time. I plan on dropping out after this year whether I graduate or not."

"Why, Puck?" Coach Beiste asked, the concern in her voice killed me and I knew I'd disappointed yet another person. "You were doing so well. You were my best player, one of the smartest too next to Chang. We just don't understand what happened to make you want to loose everything you worked so hard for. This was your chance to shine and you blew it. You're grades have dropped significantly, they're worse than they were before and as a result you're on probation."

I shrugged my shoulders as I fought to keep the tears from falling, I didn't trust my voice right now and even if I did, I didn't have anything to say.

"Did you hear me?" she asked. "You're off the team Puckerman, I didn't want to tell you this because I didn't want it to go to your head but you had a chance. Three of my closet friends were at the last game, the one you won for us and they all asked about you. They wanted you, Puck. They were willing to give you a scholarship because of how hard you worked and how well you played."

I swallowed thickly. It had to be some sort of joke, no school would want a Lima Loser like me. I took a deep breath and looked up into her soft eyes and before I could stop it, a sob ripped from my throat and tears exploded from behind my eyes. It only took one look to realize how much I'd messed up. Coach was right, I did deserve a chance, didn't everybody? I knew what I was doing was wrong and that it was too late to fix it. Knowing that I lost my only chance at a future hurt, but knowing that I'd given up the love of my life for reasons I didn't know hurt even worse.

I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and instead of pulling away I leaned into them and cried. "It'll be alright, Puck. We're gonna fix this." Coach whispered.

"I don't want to be a Lima Loser." I cried. "I messed everything up, every good thing I ever had I let go."

"That's why we're here, Puck." Mr. Shuester said as he placed his hand on my shoulder. "We're going to get your grades back up and get you back on the field so you can graduate."

I shook my head as I wiped my tears. "It's too late, graduation is five months away and even if I did get my grades up I'd never get into college. My record is a mess, I've been suspended so many times I've lost count."

"Mr. Puckerman, I've seen what you can do when you try. I've seen how far you have come this year and I'm willing to offer you a deal." Principal Figgins said.

"What sort of deal?" I asked.

"If you can bring your grades up to at least a B average, you may rejoin the football team and receive your scholarships." He said.

"I really don't see how that will help, I already told you, I'm not getting in." I sighed.

"You didn't let me finish." He said, holding up his hand. "In addition to raising your grades, you will also be joining the glee club. I've seen what William has done with his students and this opportunity will benefit you greatly. If you join and compete with them this year at Nationals, I will clear some of the incidents on your record."

"Y-you can do that?" I asked.

"Do we have a deal or not, Mr. Puckerman?" He smirked.

I didn't need to think about it at all. My life was a mess and there was only one way to fix it. "Deal." I smiled as I shook his hand.

"See you tomorrow, Noah. I'm really happy you're giving yourself a chance." Mr. Schue smiled.

"Thanks." I replied as I grabbed my bag. There was only one more thing I had to make right before I could move on. I ran to my truck and dialed the number that had been burned into my mind and waited as it rung. I ran my hand through my 'hawk impatiently, waiting for her to pick up. It was on its fourth ring when I began to worry. Rachel always answered her phone, she'd never gone without it and she always had it on her. I began to panic, maybe something was wrong. I hadn't seen her at all today and I was almost positive she wasn't in school.

I hung after the fifth ring and jammed my keys into the ignition. I'd never realized how blind or stupid I was to walk out on her. It wasn't just her I left behind in that auditorium, I'd completely given up on everything that day and I couldn't even remember why. Rachel was always nothing but honest with me, trust meant the world to her so whatever she was keeping a secret must be incredibly important. I loved Rachel and I know she loved me too. There was a connection between us, one that I couldn't explain. It was almost as if there was some type of invisible magnet pulling me towards her now. I could feel the bond getting stronger as I pulled into her driveway and walked up the stairs to her front door. Something about being here just felt so right, being with her felt right.

I probably should have gotten her flowers or something to apologize with, something to make her forgive me and realize how sorry I truly am. I knew I couldn't push her about what happened, but I would be there for her every step of the way until she was ready to tell me. I needed her and I wasn't ashamed to admit it. Even now as I stood knocking on her door for the third time I ached to be close to her, to hold her in my arms and inhale the scent that was purely Rachel.

I knocked again and began fidgeting with my coat. Why wasn't she answering the door? I knew she always came home before her dance classes so where was she? I looked into the garage and noticed that neither of her dad's cars were there and judging by the tall grass that was growing on to the cement, they hadn't been parked there for quite a while.

"Rach!" I yelled as I pounded again. "Are you there?"

There was no answer, the house was completely silent, almost as if no one lived there. I began looking around the porch for the spare key, there had to be one somewhere, everyone in fucking Lima had a hidden spare key. I'd checked the mailbox and under the welcome mat and almost cheered out loud when I found the small silver key attached to a keychain with a music note on it.

I wiggled the key into the lock and pushed the door open, kicking off my snow covered boots in the process. "Hello, anyone home?" I called into the seemingly empty house. "Rachel? Mr. or Mr. Berry?"

I made my way around the downstairs, walking through the kitchen and the living room noting how much things had changed since we were little. The house I used to feel so comfortable in felt cold and unfamiliar. It was eerily quiet, a drastic change from the usually lively house. There was always music playing, whether it was Rachel singing, one of her dad's watching a musical, or them all messing around on the grand piano they had in their dining room. I remember when I used to come over for dinner and Rachel and her dads would all cram themselves onto one little bench and sing at the top of their lungs and laugh until they were blue in the face. I remember how happy Rachel was back then, how she used to smile all the time.

I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen her smile like that or the last time I'd seen her eyes light up like stars shining in the night sky. I walked into the dining room and looked into the corner where the piano was, only to find it gone. Everything in the house was gone. It seemed like everything and everyone I knew had changed. I definitely wasn't the same person I used to be and now I'd come to realize that Rachel wasn't either. Something was wrong with the Berry household, an unnerving feeling had settled into my stomach the moment I walked in here and it was only getting worse. I didn't understand how I hadn't noticed all the changes before. The house was absolutely bare, there wasn't a piece of furniture left. I remembered she said something about redecorating, but that was months ago.

I grabbed the railing and steadied myself before slowly walking up the stairs. The hallway that used to be lined with books and pictures was empty and all of the doors were closed. Hesitantly, I knocked on the first door on the left, which happened to belong to the Berry men. I'd only been in the room once when Rachel and I were playing hide-and-seek and she'd decided to hide in their spacious walk-in closet.

When I got no answer, I turned the handle and was surprised to find it locked and rather dusty. I wiped my hands on my pants and continued down the hallway, trying door after door, only to find them all locked. I turned back around and stopped in front of the room with the giant gold star on the front or rather, what was left of the star. It looked as though it was scraped off, but the outline of the star was still there.

"Rachel?" I called as I tapped on the door. "You in here, babe?" I tried the handle and was surprised when it was unlocked. I carefully pushed open the door that led to the bright yellow room I'd spent so much time in. I took a moment and looked around at the emptiness that surrounded me. I hadn't really taken the time to look around in here before because every time I'd climb through her window we'd immediately jump each other, neither of us worrying about anything other than being together in every way, shape, and form.

My eyes trailed to the bed where a little black dog laid, her head resting on a small lump under the bright pink comforter. A lump with a head full of long brown hair sticking out of the top, a lump that I quickly realized was Rachel.

"Rach!" I exclaimed as I practically ran to her. I shook her gently and waited for her to open the chocolate brown eyes that made my heart melt. "Babe, wake up." I nudged her pulling her hair out of her face. It was only when I caught a glimpse of her face that I realized something was seriously wrong.

I quickly rolled her onto her back and had to bite my lip to keep from screaming. They never prepare you for these types of situations, they never tell you what to do when you see something like this and the only logical explanation was to panic.

Her lips were blue and her face was deathly pale. She looked deceased and I almost thought she was except she was wheezing. Each time she took a breath in, a loud noise escaped her lips, almost as if her body was struggling to stay alive. I didn't waste another second before scooping her limp body into my arms and dashing down the stairs. I didn't even stop to put my boots back on before I laid her body across the seat of the truck, carefully laying her head in my lap.

"It'll be okay, Rachel, I promise. You're going to be okay, we're going to be okay." I whispered as I stroked her hair. Tears blurred my vision as I sped down the street and towards the hospital.

I should have known that it wouldn't be this easy. Figgins had practically saved my life by giving me another chance at a future while I was too busy throwing it away. Now it is my turn to do something good, to save Rach's life because if it was not for her I would have never been able to get a second chance in life. I will not be a Lima Loser anymore.

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><p><strong>Author's note: Thanks to my beta, Jupiter01<strong>

**Please review!**


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